john: is a contributing member. karkat made him one of the guild officers and nobody’s really sure why. is always on at really weird times of day. plays non-optimal specs and does things like play pvp-designed specs in pve raids, yet pulls near-top dps and nobody understands how the fuck he’s doing it. pulls a lot of portal pranks (”hey click the portal i’m summoning food!” and then people end up in asscrack nowhere).
rose: very dedicated to her dark mage lifestyle (blm in ff14, shadow priest/warlock in wow) and will not part from it. has like 50 alts that all have the exact same spec. is dedicated to collecting really weird bits of lore and complains routinely about how the game keeps sabotaging the worldbuilding. doesn’t level professions. has some really weird talent point spending/crossclass abilities but makes it work for her. was originally the guild main healer. got sick of it.
dave: has one dedicated main, max leveled character; fills the rest of his character space with alts at level 2 who have names like “fartsmell” and “dickballs.” has gotten a suspension at least once for these usernames. the dude who starts singing along to his music mid-raid fight and it becomes a group injoke. routinely refers to things with memes ala “are we gonna just leroy jenkins this” and every time karkat starts getting upset links people the onyxia dkp minus animation. king of the auction house, but only sells weird random bullshit for way more money than it’s worth. everyone knows he’s in a relationship with karkat, but talking about it gets your guild chat privileges removed (by karkat)
jade: has every crafting profession maxed. always seems to be online but also is always afk, until someone says “can someone make me an item?” and then suddenly, there she is. has several alts, all max leveled, but every single character she creates is the furriest race possible (worgen/tauren/pandas in wow, catpeople in ff14, charr in gw2). has all her raid gear glamoured to be sparkly and crazy looking and is one of the best players on the server, but impossible to get to raid with anybody but her own guild. tries all the roles a bit but decides she hates tanking, and sticks mainly to dps. organizes raids of old content. has a bunch of alts on an rp server.
jane: king of the auction house, but selling actually profitable bullshit and has a dozen ah addons to ensure she’s always got the best prices and has bought out undercutters. on the server she’s notorious for this to the point that people wonder if she’s actually employing bots, which she would never, of course. is the guild main healer and 10000% done with everybody else’s shit. encourages john’s portal (and other) pranks and treats magic food summoning as seriously as setting up a real life dinner party. she and dirk have the mt/mh dynamic to end them all and it’s well known on the server that they’re a package deal if you can get them to raid with you.
jake: always seems to be in some random corner of the world fishing. has almost as much gold as jane or dave but nobody understands how. quest completionist and likes to see all of every zone he can; has a million achievements but doesn’t know how to put his titles on display. has every single last holiday mount, pet, and custom gear, but never uses any of it. doesn’t talk much in the voice chat. everyone on the server knows he’s an absurdly good player but he never talks to anybody outside the guild, period, and constantly marks himself busy/afk. glamours all his gear to look as skimpy as possible. likes discovering little world details and exploring the map looking for interesting locations and rare spawns. logs off voice chat the instant a raid is over and never comes on it otherwise.
dirk: the guild main tank. not guild leader or even an officer, but considers himself in charge of learning and teaching raid strategy and takes it very seriously. is a huge asshole about policing the guild bank and raid times and is regarded by everybody as an “unofficial” officer just because he’s so much more strict about guild rules than john or roxy. always in voice chat even when he’s not online. regularly “hacked” by roxy when he’s being an especial jerk. fans with rose over the lore. rerolled his main character to be a hero class/heavensward class so that their personal story would continue, but does NOT have any alts on an rp server and keeps his character’s story to himself unless directly asked. best tank on the server, but everybody’s too scared to ask him to raid with them. people all vaguely know he and jake are together but it never comes up since jake doesn’t talk a lot.
roxy: guild officer with john. despite appearing to be the most laid back member of the guild she’s always in peak level gear and, unlike the rest of the guild, regularly accepts invites to other raids so long as they’re not planning to run it in the skaia guild. CRAZY good at pvp. runs regular pvp groups with anybody else in the guild who’s interested (dirk, karkat, terezi, and rose usually come along, at least) and is almost singlehandedly responsible for keeping pvp zones on lockdown for their faction. puts out good dps and occasionally offtanks but her main focus is definitely pvp. always seems to be online. has several alts, all of which are also max level and well geared. nobody understands how she has this level of skill, nor the time.
karkat: runs the guild. a stickler for raid times and routinely threatens people with losing guild status or whatever the equivalent of dkp nowadays is. talks a LOT between raid fights (dirk does most of the talking during the raid fights) and lays out where the fuckups were and who needs to do better. despite how angry he routinely seems he also regularly whispers people to ask about their personal problems and if they need any help, and puts in a lot of time outside regular raid hours to help people get geared up, sometimes solo running their alts through low-level dungeons. usually offtanks for guild raids and is passable at it (though not outstanding). posts on the forums all the time and is infamous there. always poor because he keeps helping other guild members purchase their flying skills and fund their professions.
kanaya: off healer. everybody knows she and rose are together and they’re quite open about it. doesn’t especially understand a lot of mechanics or terms about the game, but is a decent enough player. takes her tailoring/weaving profession very seriously and is quite annoyed that she can’t design her own fashion, no matter how many times people explain limitations of in-game models to her. always logs off with a statement like “nobody stay up too late and have a good night.” people outside the guild think she’s a 40 year old mom. likes to mess around in the character creator. she and rose have several alts each on an rp server, each pair with a different and very specific relationship, no two the same. everybody knows this but nobody wants to know details.
terezi: even bigger on pvp than roxy. almost exclusively plays on rp servers and therefore isn’t around a lot for actual guild activities outside of the non-rp characters she made because she didn’t want to be left out. even on the non rp server she constantly is /say and /whisper and /yelling in character and says R3PORT3D anytime somebody tells her to stop. whenever dirk and/or karkat get salty at other guild members she will jump in to threaten them with GU1LD COURT and refuse to relent even if someone says that isn’t a real thing. likes weird class/race combos and complains that so many interesting ones are off limits (W4RLOCKS SHOULD B3 4CC3SS1BL3 TO 3V3RY R4C3! SUCH BULLSH1T). also active on the forums. even more infamous than karkat because she won’t fucking drop her quirk.
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