How come there are so few magical birth control options in fantasy settings?
There is Jewelry Of Contraception, Miscarriage Hex, and Abortion Potion, and that’s it.
But come on, guys, it’s magic. Those are both things we can accomplish in the real world with science.
Why not “as long as this knot remains tied, your pregnancy will not progress any further. The embryo is fine, just frozen in time until you’re ready to become a parent!”
Or “I have turned the baby into a berry. get the father of the baby to eat it, and it’s his problem now”
Or “I’ve hexed your gonads, you won’t have any kids at all ever until you do a favor for a witch, preferably me”
Or “lol, I stole your dick in the middle of the night and put it on my tree with all the other dicks in the village”
Come on, guys, get creative!
man, I was thinking too small. it’s MAGIC, guys
“I have put the baby inside this seed. when you plant the seed, a flower will grow, and your baby will be inside it. your baby might be the size of a mouse, or uh look like a mouse, but hey, we can’t have everything. it can still talk and wear clothes, and those are the important things, right? it’ll save you a ton of cloth over the years, trust me”
“I have sent the baby into the future. the NEXT time either of you has a kid, it will be this baby, regardless of who you have it with. this baby will always be top of the queue until one of you lets it be born.”
“I took your womb, and put it in an eggshell in a duck in a chest in a tree guarded by a dragon at the end of the world. so the next time you get pregnant, it will definitely be on purpose.”
“I turned the baby into a cat. everyone likes kittens, right?”
“the baby isn’t “dead” so much as “turned back into an egg and a splash of jizz.” magic is cool, isn’t it?”
“you will only ever be fertile immediately after you eat turnips. and by immediately, I mean, put a turnip on the nightstand, if you catch my drift.”
“I have donated your fetus to the fetus lottery that witches draw from for infertile couples. it’s, uh, currently in this cauldron. yes this looks like leek and potato soup, but trust me, it’s a fertility potion.”
“here is your baby. a stick. I definitely turned a real human child into a stick, and didn’t give it to the fairies. this stick is for you to keep.”
honestly these r great but none are as weird as Hans My Hedgehog
‘i meant to put your baby in a duck’s egg but i was drunk so now you just lay eggs. im pretty sure they’re duck eggs. we’re just gonna have to see’
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