turing-tested:

look, ive been around cows n horses all my life and they still seem fuckin huge. dont come into my house and tell me dirk ‘lived in the middle of the ocean’ strider, dirk ‘the only horse ive seen in real live is smaller than the average house cat’ strider, dirk ‘my only animal friends are seagulls’ strider wouldnt lose his fuckin shit if he even stood NEXT to a horse