things the classics have taught me

quadranipplepentakill:

thoodleoo:

• do research before joining a new religion because you never know if your god is gonna turn out to be a furry who bangs everything that moves
• ancient greek takes no prisoners
• there’s always room for more dicks. always
• it’s okay to really like something even if other people think you like it too much, because alexander the great liked the iliad enough to sleep with a copy of it under his pillow and he conquered all kinds of shit
• all gaul is divided into three parts
• of those three parts, the belgae inhabit one, the aquitani another, and the celts the third
• just because some people were famous in history doesn’t mean that they couldn’t be dumbasses (see: mark antony’s entire life)
• there’s no such thing as “too many provinces”
• don’t discount a piece of classic literautre because you think it might be boring, because many great works of literature from classics are mostly dick jokes
• and, furthermore, carthage must be destroyed

@aconissa