swingsetindecember:

ifeelbetterer:

swingsetindecember:

where is my sam wilson and wade wilson team up, marvel? give it to me, you cowards

Since Sam was already fighting an army of evil aliens and he was pretty sure the other Avengers were at least a full city block away, he did not bother to ask why the dude who leaped down from the fire escape was wearing red leather. The dude was clearly also invested in fighting the evil aliens and, like, that’s pretty much all you need to worry about when you’re fighting evil aliens. 

The dude did seem to be quoting all of Kim Bassinger’s dialogue from My Stepmother Is an Alien, but also. Like. Every evil alien this dude killed was one less evil alien Sam had to kill. 

As they fought–and as the dude switched to District 9–their way back to the other Avengers, Sam also had to admire the dude’s form. 

And then the dude got shot through the gut and had an arm blown off at the same time. 

See, this is why we don’t let randos in red leather join up with the superheroes, Sam thought in absolute panic as he rushed to the dude’s side.  He pulled back the red leather from the gut wound and…..that was some really gnarly scarring. 

His hands only hesitated for a split second over that thought. But then he really got pulled up short by the visual of the gut wound closing itself up. 

“That is some party trick,” he said out loud. 

“You should see me tie a cherry stem with my tongue,” the dude said. “Brings all the boys to the yard, y’know what I’m saying.” His voice was definitely guttural, pained. So whatever was making this dude into the energizer bunny of self-heal was doing diddly-squat for the pain levels. 

“Would a painkiller work on you?” he asked because Sam had spent the past couple of years in the company of a dude who got beat up more often than anyone else Sam had ever known and also processed opioids like they were tic tacs. So. Best to ask. 

“Negative, Ghost Rider,” the dude said. “Deadpool, nice to meetcha.” He held out the blown-off stump that…..had tiny digits forming on the end. 

“Definitely a good party trick,” Sam said and shook the stump. “I’m the Falcon. Sam Wilson.”

“Oooh, Mr. Wilson,” Deadpool said in a high breathy voice and then passed out. 

sam just made a bff for life