When it comes to conceptualizing asexuality – whether you’re writing the protagonist of a young adult novel, world-building an alien race, or trying to understand real aces in your own life – there’s a lot of repeated trends at risk of occurring. And they range from ‘that’s a common stereotype so don’t paint us with such a wide brush’ to ‘ oh my god could you be any more wrong’.
Asexuality = Low Sex Drive. The idea that asexuality is intrinsically tied with low libido is one idea that the world can’t seem to get rid of. Probably because it’s partially true; many aces indeed attribute their (lack of) sexual orientation with a lack of sexual drive. With low desire for sexual intimacy (sometimes) comes a low desire for anyone. And to many aces, that’s their asexuality.
But to many other aces, the two could not be any further apart. My libido is high, even higher since starting HRT, and it hasn’t affected my lack of sexual attraction for other people. And not every Joe identifies as asexual because they find it hard to get sexually aroused; just because physical stimulation does little for you doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed to not feel attracted to others. So asexuality always equating to low libido does no one any favors.
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