melodramatic-fratboi:

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name:

spideyandstark:

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name:

personally I like to think steve’s birthday isn’t actually July 4th but someone asked him when his birthday was when he was doing his little show tour thingy and he just said it as an accident and/or a panic response in a bid to seem even more patriotic and everyone believed him and now it’s like 100 years later and he’s too deep in the lie to back out now bc he knows all the avenger’s would fucking publicly roast him if he admitted july 4th wasn’t actually his birthday- like he would literally never live that down- so he lives his life in fear that some bitch ass historian is gonna find his birth certificate and expose him 

avengers: happy birthday, steve!

bucky, eyes narrowing: what the fuck your birthday isn’t until-

steve, holding back tears: shut up

Bucky tries to hand him a birthday card one cold December day, and Steve tackles him out a window before anyone else can see what he’s holding

If you think that bitch ass historian isn’t, in fact, Tony Stark, you are wrong