ARIES: (my body materializes out of the darkness) fuck that was sick. did I look cool dont lie dude.
TAURUS: *rotating 3d objects in my mind* *rotating the cube* ohhhhhhhhhh *rotating the cone* ooooh my goddddd *rotating the sphere* ahhhhhhhh OH my god DUDE *ROTATING THE PYRAMID
GEMINI: write ‘nothing is set in stone’ on my grave as both a witty joke and a subtle warning that i will be back
CANCER: a guitar but u strum it and it produces human screams
LEO: *spins the Bone Wheel* Congratulations, Jim! you get to feed your left femur to GOD *the ground starts to shake*
VIRGO: a giant billboard with a man in a beige suit, leaning forward, smiling smugly. next to him, in giant times new roman font, is written ‘INJURIES?’ there is no number to call. there is no name listed
LIBRA: me smearing blood sigils on the walls and ceilings of my room: its interior design
SCORPIO: NEW noise canceling headphones that are so good at blocking out sound that they even prevent you from listening to your own music, forcing you to bask in the whispers of the forgotten gods until you begin to hear your own brain falling apart as it descends into madness
SAGITTARIUS: hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa video games ohhhh yeah. i do enjoy em. got the ol controller on mydesk and im twiddling the knobs, and im pressing the buttons onthe controoller and i make the man move
CAPRICORN: You want my phone number? It’s useless. The best way to contact me is to fill a human skull with acorns and vigorously shake it into the night. I will hear you eventually.
AQUARIUS: “have you ever felt your heart beating but it was like beating at a different part of your body and it’s really weird what the hell” “do u mean like a pulse” “no I meant an inner bomb that’s ticking in your skin and counting down the seconds to your death”
PISCES: whats the meaning of life? son, its those little tiny pumpkins. the ones that are mad small. you know the ones i mean.
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