fakehause:

fakehause:

things u may be missing right now on the 2SPOOKY segment of extra life

• kerry: you know, it’s really sinking in that I just ate hair
• kerry: what is this 420?!?
• [quiet chanting of “murder! murder! murder!” in the background]
  
• “SANTA DOESNT EXIST ITS YOUR FUCKING PARENTS" “YOU JUST DESTROYED INNOCENCE”
  
• “my liver was beautiful 30 years ago” -gus, right before chugging alcohol straight out of the bottle
• kerry: look, its 2spooky, 3spoopy, 4…. spocky, ..5….. for the kids…
• miles: what are they doing? what are they doing?!? what the fuck are they doing? oh, they’re moving a couch
• miles: I hope you fucking die   kerry: i probably will
• kerry: hey guys? I’m fucking miles.
• “this is boring”   “OOOH GET FUCKIN WREK’D!!!”
• gus: I wrote… some terrible things….. awful, awful things… for everybody here to do.. nobody knows
• barbara: hey guys, seriously, maybe no more shots?   gus: THREE MORE SHOTS
• WHAT IS HOMEMADE CHEESE
• *wheel alarm goes off* everyone: *cries of horror*
• gus: you know what? I’ve drank more than them. and /fuck/ them
• WE CAN’T SAY NO HE’S OUR BOSS
• miles: what we’re trying to do is raise money for kids, that’s what we’re trying to do here today- but fuck gus, seriously, FUCK gus
• gus: someone threw it away 🙁
• gus: I want to say something. I started this company. YOU ALL HAVE JOBS BECAUSE OF ME. *high-fives Miles*
• miles: I LOVE THIS FUCKING WHEEL *five minutes later* miles: I’m legitimately sorry
• “STOP SPINNING THE FUCKING WHEEL” “I’VE DONE SIX SHOTS”
• “Recap: Gus wrote ‘fight dracula’. Gus doesn’t know what it means anymore”

• miles: just fucking give us money for the kids, please, PLEASE,
• “SOMEBODY GRAB GUS- JUST TAKE HIM AWAY”
  
• everyone: NO- NO- NO-   blaine: GUS SAID SO
• *gus eats the jack sandwich* WITNESS ME
• JACK- THAT’S YOU!
• jack: the internet is saying no! The internet never says no
• miles: remember earlier, when I was talking about that line that I thought I would never cross?   kerry: remember that hair you ate? miles, broken: yeah
• miles: remember when I ate that hair sandwich? It wasn’t just because I have low standards. It was for the kids.