anarchetypal:

fake ah crew ryan finally starting to take murder breaks seriously, but realizing somewhere around the second or third week that the thing about murder is that it’s a really, really great stress reliever

and so suddenly he’s got a lot of stress that he has no outlet for, and he’s on the verge of punching people, like, all the time and gavin practically breaks the sound barrier trying to get away from him every time he walks into a room

and then one day geoff’s alone in his penthouse and there’s this loud, insistent knocking, and he pulls the door open and ryan blows past him without even saying hello, and geoff is like, “um.”

and ryan growls go away and shuts himself into the kitchen (”you know this is my house, right?” geoff says, bewildered and a little insulted.)

and then he hears horrifying crashing noises coming from the kitchen and he’s like, nope, i’m out, i’m gone, i don’t know what he’s doing in there but i’m not sticking around to find out

and four hours later he comes back and cautiously heads for the kitchen—and there’s ryan, absolutely surrounded by baked goods, like literally every surface is covered with brownies and cookies and cakes and scones and there’s flour and eggshells everywhere and ryan’s sort of staring at the delicious carnage like he’s not entirely sure how it happened

“so,” geoff says, unable to decide whether to be amused or deeply, deeply unsettled, “you’re a…stress baker.”

and of course ryan’s like no absolutely not this was clearly the work of baking gremlins— well okay maybe i had something to do with it— well okay maybe i have a problem, shut up, stop laughing, tell no one, tell no one