anarchetypal:

i need so much more immortal fake ah crew where they just. don’t take their immortality seriously at all

like they use it to their advantage all the time but only in the most low-stakes situations ever

• gavin and michael are standing behind like ten people in the slowest-moving line in the world at taco bell, and finally michael lets out an irritated sound and pulls his gun out and shoots gavin in the head
• “fucking hate waiting in lines,” he mutters, and grins when everybody scrambles to let him to the front
• they’re all at the movies, and there’s a fuckton of teenagers being obnoxious next to them, and eventually ryan gets to his feet and turns and shoots ray in the chest and they get the theater to themselves real quick after that
• (”dude, what the fuck.”
• “i wanted to intimidate them.”
• “by shooting me?!”
• “you look the most like a teenager.”
• “listen here asshole”)
• geoff makes a bar bet with a stranger at some hole-in-the-wall that he’ll shoot the next person who walks in, and then gavin pushes the door open
• (”you shot me for twenty bloody dollars?!”
• “gavin, buddy, i’d shoot you for a bottle of corona and a nickle.”)
• michael opens the door for trick-or-treaters on halloween all costumed up like freddy kreuger and immediately stabs geoff six times in front of them, and laughs like a maniac when they all shriek and bolt for the elevator
• (”i’m pretty sure you scarred those kids for life.”
• “look, i already ate all the candy, so it’s not like they were gonna get anything anyway”)
• jack stabs ray in front of a bunch of young delinquents that hang around their block to put the fear of god into them
• (”stay in school!” jack hollers after them, clearly having entirely too much fun with this)
• (”hey, assholes. can we please stop making me the fake teenager that gets the example made out of him. i’d like to remind you guys that dying still fucking hurts. just putting that out there. would also like to point out that the implication that i look like a sixteen year old is unnecessary and hurtful.”)