some shitty neighbour AUs

corvou:

corvou:

• you are never home when the mail comes so  i always have to take your packages you fucker
• you never open your door for children on halloween so i always pay the kids to smear your door with shaving cream
• your bike always stands in front of mine in the cellar and i nearly break my neck when trying to get mine 
• you gave me your key to take care of your flowers while youre gone but i decided to take all your food as payment and you are so not amused
• my printer isnt printing anymore and my papers are due tomorrow so im on my knees in front of your door begging to use your printer when the old lady from above passes us and thinks im proposing to you
• eurovision song contest is on but my tv is so small and i saw you have a big ass television, so i brought over some popcorn and wodka. deal?
• the neighbour above us keeps being really loud and we are done with talking to him so we meet up to plan our revenge
• im just here to tell you that you need to stop taking showers at 3 am. get your shit together you nerd
• we always run into eachother on the stairs but we’ve never said more than hello but when we found out that we both hate the other neighbours, we became friends 
• you lost your key and i allowed you to stay in my apartment until the locksmiths arrives

• we’re watching the same sports game but apparently youre for the other team so im trying to cheer louder than you
• i came home drunk and wouldnt stop knocking on your door. when you open i keep telling you to get out of my apartment
• after a rough party night i find you sleeping on the stairs but since im still a little asshole all i do is put a blanket over you and a pillow under your head
• during a storm all the lights went out and now youre in my apartment bc youre afraid of the dark but i want to kick you out again since all you do is keep telling cheesy one liners
• you knocked furiously on my door to tell me to stop having loud sex but when i appear fully clothed in front of you, we both are disturbed by the thought of it being the old lady from above