hi-ho, bunjy here! it’s time for another installment of Weird Biology, and today I’m going to introduce you to a creature that looks like it flopped awkwardly out of a Lisa Frank concept art book.
meet the Amazonian River Dolphin, or Boto!
he’s Boto’ mess you up if you don’t stop laughing
Botos are the world’s most numerous river dolphin. (yes, river dolphins are totally a thing. weird, right?) they flop around obnoxiously in rivers throughout much of South America, though most of them live in or around the Amazon basin.
they are also the word’s largest river dolphin, with males reaching lengths of well over eight feet and weights of over 400 pounds, which places them firmly in the category of “animal I would not fistfight under any circumstances”
they don’t even have fists and I still wouldn’t
the Boto is also a variation of pink colloquially referred to as Rubbery Bubblegum Blast by scientists (or it will be, as soon as I can locate those scientists. they’re tricky bastards).
surprisingly, the Boto actually starts life grey and transitions to pink as it gets older and scrapes itself up a bunch by running into things and getting into slapfights with other dolphins.
yes, that’s actually why. I still think it looks like a barbie accessory
the Boto is well-adapted for river life, to the point where they’ve become mildly upsetting to look at. unlike their sleek badass ocean cousins, Botos are floppy flappy twisty turny blob creatures. their soft, flexible bodies allow them to navigate between tree roots and rocks like disjointed but effective muppets. they are also one of the only types of cetacean to have a functional neck, rather than the fused vertebrae most of them have to deal with. this is 1000% more disturbing than it sounds.
THIS IS VISCERALLY UPSETTING.
we’re just going to take a little bit of a break for a montage here because:
1) HOLY FUCK, and 2) JESUS FUCKING CHRIST LOOK AT IT. LOOK.
because of their muddy muddy river life, Botos have terrible eyesight and rely on their sonar to find prey. and they eat a wide variety of prey- from fish, to some other, slightly different fish.
despite this, Botos are a common sight in the rivers of South America, and are offered many protections across their range (probably due to that one legend that says that if you look one in the eyes, you will have nightmares for the rest of your life)
it’s the face, it’s gotta be
it just goes to show, there are many different ways to succeed, and no metric for success. you can always do well if you work with what you’ve got (and also have nightmare eyes).
