Being Around Autistic People – A Guide To Allistics

autisticliving:

• Don’t ask us to stop if you catch us in doing a repetitive movement, whether that is flapping our hands, bouncing our legs, fidgeting with something, rocking back or forth or something else. It might seem weird and unnecessary to you, but it’s a natural part of autistic people’s body language that can help us focus, express ourselves and calm down.
• If you want us to know something, tell us. Don’t expect us to get your hints. Many autistic people have trouble reading and comprehending facial expressions, body language and other non-verbal communication, so if there’s something you want us to remember or understand, tell us directly.
• Don’t touch us without permission. It might just be a friendly, casual touch or hug, but many autistic people have trouble with sensory processing and touching can be stressing and painful. Don’t take it as an insult if we ask you to refrain from touching us.
• Don’t expect us to have the same body language as most people. For example, don’t assume that we’re not listening because we’re not looking you in the eyes – eye contact is stressing, uncomfortable and painful to many autistic people. 
• Remember that many autistic people experience and process sensory inputs differently than you might. We’re not overreacting or exaggerating – we just process the world differently from you. Don’t get offended if we ask you to turn off the music or if we leave the table to go do our work in a separate room. If we keep refusing to join your big parties, don’t assume that it’s because we don’t want to see you. Maybe suggest meeting up one on one somewhere quiet instead.
• Don’t expect that we are capable of doing something because we usually are or because we once were. Some autistic people are capable of speaking sometimes and not other times. Some autistic people can sometimes enjoy a party but can’t manage eating dinner among other people at other times. 
• Be prepared to make plans. Instead of just asking us whether we’d like to hang out sometime next Thursday, figure out when, where and for how long.
• Don’t think that you get to speak for or on behalf of autistic people because you have an autistic family member or because you know some autistic people. Only autistic people get to speak for autistic people.