herecomesthesniperbutt:

creatrixanimi:

someone: agent washington, the reds and blues are missing we think they might be dead

wash, sitting by the pool, reading a harlequin, sipping a mint julep, getting his toes done: show me bodies.

someone: um excuse me sir?

wash: no body, no proof. now move you’re blocking my sun.

carolina, emerging from the pool like a shark: and bring us more guacamole.

#Someone else: Here it’s their armor. We have still yet to locate the bodies but their armor is empty and covered in blood.#Wash: Oh dear god they’re naked and coming for us. 
(because it didn’t feel complete without @colonelsargestillincharge‘s contribution)