naamahdarling:

seriousjones:

tired of hearing about how saturn is the most fuckable planet just because it has the most rings. jupiter is clearly the most fuckable planet, and trust me, i’ve already heard your “oh the great red spot is an std” jokes, and i don’t care. and btw, the logistics of fucking the rings of a planet don’t make any sense. have fun trying to put your dick through a bunch of jagged rocks and ice, you piece of shit

this is like one of the best posts i’ve seen on tumblr and let me tell you why

• “tired of hearing about” posts that then go on to delineate something i have literally never heard anyone talking about are hilarious
• the idea of trying to rank the planets as fuckable is absurd
• huffy “i don’t care”
• nitpicking the logistics of something impossible
• horrible mental image
• ends very angrily