theory evidence part three
006602 blood coffee apparently
006606 “ROSE: We were asking Skaia to change everything at a fundamental level, and we gave it the energy to do so.
ROSE: But Skaia is a very passive entity. It only "knows” and “sees,” but it never quite “acts.”
ROSE: When it is asked to change everything, there is only so much it has control over.
ROSE: In fact, it has control over exactly one thing. The defense portals.“
006608 "DAVE: but your mom was just a nice alcoholic spinster who liked wizards who you complained about for no reason ”
006655 “MEENAH: whoever heard of an alien ghost
JOHN: i know, right? that’s what i think sometimes.
JOHN: it’s strange combination of sci-fi things. like alien stuff is all about science, right? at least it is in movies. aliens LOVE science. but then ghosts have nothing to do with science, they belong to the supernatural realms, which have more to do with religion i guess? or about a lot of hocus pocus and superstition, maybe even magic. science rarely enters the equation, unless it’s something awesome like ghost busters, which makes ghosts and stuff ALL ABOUT science, even though the ghost science is obviously a bunch of total nonsense. i guess contact mixes aliens and ghosts because jodie foster saw her ghost dad in outer space? but then, that was probably just a science projection from an alien, to make her feel less sad about her dead dad, and not a real ghost or anything. i guess the lesson is that science and aliens teach us that ghosts and religion are fake? although, it turns out ghosts and aliens are actually real, so maybe science and religion have been lying to us all along. *shrug*”
006671 “AG: Look at it this way. Imagine that over the course of someone’s life, they are truly capa8le of every conceiva8le action at any moment, and did indeed take each of those actions in different 8ranching realities. Doesn’t a scenario like that deaden a person’s agency just as much as one where their fate is decidedly etched in stone as a single path of unavoida8le decisions? Who exactly is that person who can and does take all conceiva8le actions, other than someone perfectly generic, who only appears to have unique predilections and motives when you examine the ar8itrary path they happen to occupy?”
006693 “Ok, time to stop babbling and think. Think, imagination! Argh, the one time I really need you!!”
006694 “Slick, he’s come here to finish you off! We have got to hide you somewhere. Now that Rufio is gone, you are my only friend.” more worried about slick’s safety than his own
006699 horses; it’s been noted that this cliff/the blueness of the interior is reminescent of caliborn’s landscape in homosuck (which means lord english is or has been inside homosuck)
006702 “What’s that, English? You look nervous. Could it be you weren’t expecting me to know your only vulnerability? You have underestimated my omniscience almost as badly as I overestimate it as a matter of daily routine. Your reign of terror comes to an end here, on this balcony overlooking an enchanted cliffscape host to innumerable gorgeous stallions. How ironic, that your very demise would be in the proximity of some horses. What? You didn’t follow that? Just think it over. Think it over…”
006703 “WHILE YOU DIE SHIT SHIT SHIT, OH SHIT. FUCK. SHIT SHIT FUCK, I FORGOT.
What kind of fucking idiot keeps his deudly white magnum loaded with only one tiny cueball??? God damn you, Scratch.”
006705 ?magic? cane turns into green sun gun. (possibly indicating that he cannot use the cane to kill hussie, as magic is fake??)
006707 “Ok, that gun looks super deudly. Way deudlier than the one I just threw at you, and I am probably screwed. But there is one thing you probably WEREN’T counting on, and that thing is magic being REAL.
God I hope magic is real…”
006708 “Please let magic be real, please let magic be real, please let magic be real. I believe that magic is real right now. I believe so hard in its reality that it is becoming slightly less fake before our very eyes. I believe its fakeness was just a lie coughed up from a dark magician’s spurious asshole. I believe in fairies. I believe dragons aren’t bullshit. I believe heartily in the giggles of all the cherubs in heaven and the metric tonnes of special stardust they consume each day to fuel their laughter. I believe with the conviction of a million frothing zealots in the combined pranks of a billion leprechauns strong, and in the tiny erections they get from playing them. But most of all, I believe in YOU, Rufio.
I BELIEVE IN YOU.”
also the wand wasn’t a deudly firearm/wand combo, he threw away the gun then pulled out the wand
006709 “Aw fuck who am I kidding magic is fake as shit.” also with dead eyes
006711 hussie dying
006712 hussie dies
006713 hussie’s dead page, with vriska watermarking the background for some reason. looks kind of like when people with dead dream selves go to sleep and wake up in the furthest ring
006714 + DOTA fades to black like above, goes to dead vriska in the furthest ring with horses. hussie proposes etc. damn this wait was scary when it first updated
006722 “TG: what were u spectin
TG: for mangic not 2 be real or something
TG: lol what a dope”
006727 myststuck “He assures you that all of his wicked elixirs are motherfuckin magic and all that.”
006745 probably competely irrelevant in every way ever
“GT: A beautiful blue woman from the wild teaches him the ways of her savage culture and also the ways of alien love. Together they frolic in the forest whilst sharing primal intimacy through magic sexual escapades.”
006746 “TT: But once you actually tell them what computers are: Jesus dick! You’re a wizard.”
006746 “TT: But I’m guessing you won’t be hearing much from the program. It probably won’t play a significant role in either of our lives.
TT: I have my doubts it’ll be a successful project, but who knows.
GT: Id wager a tidy sum the results of the endeavor will be sensational.
GT: I believe in you!
TT: You do?
GT: Sure bro. I always have.
GT: You have helped me out a lot and been a good friend for ages.
TT: Hmm.
GT: What?
TT: Well, I wasn’t sure about doing this today, but if it’s true that you do believe in me, then I guess fuck it, why not.”
006757 “GT: So i just made a little camp fire and burned it. I keep the ashes deep in the ruins which is where i think she liked it best.
GT: Hopefully there isnt an earthquake or something that would knock the urn over in a predictable and hilarious fashion.
TT: No way man.
TT: I’d bet my bottom boonbuck that shit’s eternally safe.
TT: That urn’s like the Fort Knox of standing upright forever because of no accidents.”
006761 “TT: The books are pretty interesting though, if somewhat dense.
TT: They’re supposedly heavily allegorical. Veiled representations of cosmic events surrounding the witch and her boss and how all this came about.
TT: It’s the kind of thing you wouldn’t pick up on unless you were someone who understood what happened, like the Condesce, which was kind of the point. I think it was her way of letting the witch know, "I’m on to you.”
TT: In the early days of the resistance movement they both opposed her more indirectly, through their art, like critics of tyrannical governments often used to.
TT: They had to be careful. Didn’t want to make big waves too early.
TT: My bro did this too with his many fine films.
TT: Practically everything was a symbol for something. Either in mockery of the batterwitch, or conveying some hidden message to its audience. Each film was always rigorously picked apart for its head-scratching symbolic meaning.
TT: But he managed to accomplish all that without ever compromising the purity of his ironic vision, which I think was admirable.“ so what we get from this is that it is entirely possible that the whole of sbahj is just really oblique foreshadowing
006763 "TT: They were both very skilled combatants. I’m pretty sure she had some weird powers too.
GT: Powers you say?
TT: Communion with occult forces. Something like that.
TT: She knew things. Had visions. It’s why she was able to write those books, and more importantly, why Roxy and I were able to survive here.
GT: How?
TT: They knew we would be here some day. So they prepared for our arrival.”
006765 “TT: They were also the first and last juggalo presidents. The founding fathers warned us about this, but nobody listened.
GT: They did? Warned us about what exactly?
TT: The Mirthful Executives.
TT: George Washington had prophetic nightmares about them. He tried to warn people, and get language amended to the constitution to prevent it.
TT: Like forbidding the election of what he famously described as "a pair of salty bards,” or “unruly jesters given to the sweet drink.”“
006768 "TT: The few witnesses would report seeing only a man with a sword on a shitty skateboard, gently rising into the night sky.
TT: No one ever saw him again.”
006775 “TT: But you believe me, right?
GT: Oh yeah every word of it!
TT: Wow.
GT: Why shouldnt i? You are my friend and i trust you.
TT: I still just think it’s impressive, is all. Even after all this time. You are pretty much a one of a kind dude.
GT: Heh not really i just like believing stuff and believing in people.”
oh my god this theory is pretty much confirmed
006775 “GT: And if that werent enough i tumbled off the doohickey and knocked myself out and now im strolling down memory lane with your fake brain ghost!
GT: Its like you are surrounding me from all sides with imitations of yourself but never the REAL YOU!!!
GT: Cheese and fucking crackers when do i just get to talk to the actual dirk?”
006775 “TT: Dirk is the heart guy. He’s the one walking the path of self, even when he doesn’t know it. Like right now.
GT: But what does that mean?
GT: And how can you really be made of only my thoughts when i dont even know what youre talking about sometimes?
GT: Or when i didnt know some of the things youre telling me? Like about being in a dream bubble?
GT: How can i tell myself about that stuff through brain ghost dirk!
TT: Who says you don’t know those things on some level?
GT: I dont think i do!
GT: I have no business knowing those things.
TT: Pages have a lot of untapped potential.
TT: That’s practically all there is to the class, actually.
TT: But when they eventually find it, look out.
TT: And the ones who deal in hope? Shit, man.
TT: I’m scared of you already, and I’m not even real.” so jake seems to know a bunch of classpect stuff. does the page like know stuff? is that a page thing??
006776 “GT: Yeah see i think i maybe did a little TOO good of a job brain cloning you? This is way too much like talking to the REAL fake dirk.
GT: Holy cow what a dumb sentence that was.
TT: You did do a good job.
TT: A perfect job, in fact.
TT: Untapped potential, remember?
TT: I don’t think one of Dirk’s splinters could exist nearly as well in anyone’s mind other than yours.
GT: Well thats just spiffy for me but im starting to feel somewhat like im being haunted by you now.
GT: I just want to talk to my real buddy. And by real i just mean the ORIGINAL GUY.”
“GT: Why do you keep calling her a ghost??
TT: Cause she’s been dead for a zillion years, dude.” he knows that somehow too
006777 “GT: IM READY FOR YOU. YOU THINK IM AFRAID? ILL TAKE YOUR BONER MAGIC LIKE A MAN!”
006779 “Do you realize this adventure is nearing 5000 panels? And now we have to watch you flounder around in a jail cell for god knows how long? Exactly how many panels do you want this to go on for? Over 9000? Nobody wants that. Nobody even wants to hear the phrase "over 9000.”“
most recent update is 008752 or page 6849
006828 "JAKE: But then it all went to shit because of that meddlesome demon?
ARANEA: Yes.
JAKE: The demon you say im supposed to defeat?
ARANEA: Yes.
JAKE: Hang on.
JAKE: Would that be the same demon im named after?
ARANEA: Who told you that?
JAKE: Uh…
JAKE: I guess technically my own brain did?
ARANEA: That’s interesting.
ARANEA: I wasn’t planning on mentioning that. Or at least not just yet.
JAKE: Why?
ARANEA: There’s no reason to prematurely overcomplicate an already complicated tale.
ARANEA: All facts will fall into place in due time.”
006829 “ARANEA: Defeating a foe doesn’t always involve killing.
ARANEA: He has had many incarnations in many universes.
ARANEA: If you continue on your journey for long enough, you may encounter one of them.
ARANEA: And if you have 8ecome strong enough 8y then, you may 8e a8le to defeat him in com8at.
ARANEA: And if that comes to pass, it would 8e the first defeat he has ever known.
ARANEA: You would 8e providing the first glimmer of hope to others that some day, he could 8e destroyed.
JAKE: So… you are saying i could do all this?
JAKE: Or that i will?
ARANEA: For now, I’m saying that we should get going soon, if you would like to meet the others 8efore you wake up.”
“ARANEA: They are from someone else’s memory.
JAKE: Are they from a wizards memory?
ARANEA: Ha ha. No!”
006830 “JAKE: Its great. Everything is so amazing!
JAKE: Who would have thunk you could have such crackerjack adventures in your dreams that are basically REAL instead of imaginary?
ARANEA: Yep!
JAKE: Or for that matter…
JAKE: That you could meet such neat people along the way.
DIRK: Your thoughts are wandering again, man.”
006831 “ARANEA: While she was there, she discovered an ancient device.
ARANEA: Inside the device was a game.”
006848 “It’s kind of a pointless power anyway. Some real dimestore parlor trickery that’s just a waste of everyone’s time. You doubt you’ll ever use it again. It’s sure not going to help you track down that elusive kid.”
006862 “UU: it is simple. we are playing a game together.
UU: we have been forced to, for as long as we’ve known each other.
UU: bUt the rUles are complicated, and often shifting. and they don’t always make sense!
UU: at least, they woUldn’t to yoU.
GG: Try me!
UU: many yoU woUld not recognize as rUles, so mUch as sUperstitions.
UU: a variety of caveats and stipUlations. things that woUld invite misfortUne if i were to break. it woUld be very bad jUjU.
UU: i have not been able to tell yoU my name for this reason.
UU: doing so woUld lead Us all down a very slippery slope! bUt i have wanted to tell yoU so. i hope my relUctance has not compromised oUr friendship.
GG: Of course not. I wrote off your reticence as one of your many eccentricities long ago.
UU: ^u^
GG: I still want to understand this game with your brother, though.
GG: Could you describe some of the other rules?
UU: mm, yes. we have both renoUnced hemotyping Until the resolUtion.”
“UU: sUffice to say, all games that are played have boUndaries. a stage to which all pieces and moves are confined.
UU: like a chess board! there is no reality to the game beyond the edges of the binary grid.
GG: That makes sense, but I’m not sure I see how it applies.
UU: i know. it was more infernal gammoning on my part as i dance aboUt these rUles.
UU: it’s all one can do when everything he or she ever does is jUst another move in a game.
UU: i am so sorry, jane. i woUld have loved to be more forthright with yoU since the day we first spoke.
UU: yoU are a dear friend to me. yoU and yoUr chUms. yoU are all the only friends i have ever had.”
“UU: it is my jUjU. it is very dear to me.
GG: Your juju?
UU: a talisman of sorts, with many cUrioUs properties and rUles for implementation.
UU: as yoU may have gathered aboUt me, i have learned the hard way that it always pays to follow the rUles. :U
GG: Where did you get it?
UU: it was an heirloom, yoU coUld say. passed on from ancestors. i have always had it.
UU: jUjUs are said to have origins which are impossible to Understand or trace. some say they emerge spontaneoUsly from the void.
UU: they cannot be trUly dUplicated. if there ever appears to be more than one of the same, it is only a mirage of caUsality!
UU: nor can they ever be destroyed. not completely, at least.
UU: so when i send yoU mine, it will be no small matter. it will not simply be copied throUgh alchemy.
UU: yoU will be the new owner, and mine here will cease to exist.
GG: Um… gosh.
UU: bUt UnfortUnately it will have no valUe to yoU Unless i send my brother’s jUjU as well.
UU: and he will not relinqUish control of his Unless i best him at oUr game. this is another of oUr rUles.
GG: It sure sounds like you two are up to your necks in this crazy game.
UU: oh yes. we are Up to qUite a bit fUrther than oUr neck in it. ~_u
UU: bUt it’s alright. i love games.
UU: my brother, on the other hand…
GG: Not such a big fan of games?
UU: on no, qUite the contrary.
UU: his passion for games transcends any hUman Understanding of love.
UU: for yoU to Understand it woUld be to fUlly comprehend the meaning of…
UU: how to pUt it.
GG: Um.
GG: Beauty?
UU: horror.”
006863 “uu: YOu ARE AN IMPOSTOR.
uu: AN ARTIFICIAL BLOODLESS HEMOTYPING FRAuD.
TT: What?
uu: THERE IS NO HEART THAT BEATS INSIDE YOu. WITH PASSION FOR ILLuSTRATED DEBAuCHERY. AS CAN BE SAID OF TRuE MEN.
uu: YOu ARE FALSE AS THE RED YOu PAINT YOuR WORDS WITH. YOUR LIES ARE RED AS THE HERRING YOu REPRESENT.
TT: I… guess these burns are pretty sick?
TT: They are burns, right?
TT: It seems you may have just called me a fish.
uu: YOuR ATROCIOuS TALE IS FuLL OF SO MANY SHITTY RED HERRINGS. AND YOu ARE THE SHITTIEST. BY FAR.
uu: OH LOOK. THIS MAN IS NOT WHAT HE APPEARS TO BE. OR IS HE? NO HE’S GLASSES.
uu: THE MYSTERY IS SOLVED. WHO GIVES A FuCK.
TT: It sounds like you don’t even know what a red herring is.
uu: BuLLSHIT. I AM BASICALLY THE MASTER OF ALL RED HERRINGS.
uu: THEY SWIM THROuGH MY VEINS. THIS WAY AND THAT.
uu: YOu HAVE TO BE VERY GOOD AT RED HERRINGS. WHEN YOu ARE AS GOOD AT GAMES AS ME.
TT: How does one even be "good at red herrings?”
TT: Are you saying you employ misdirection effectively?
TT: Because I have to say, dude. This has not been my observation.
uu: THAT’S A FuCKING LAuGH.
uu: YOu KNOW THE GAME I WANT TO PLAY? WITH REAL DIRK.
uu: IT HAS SuCH A PERFECT SHITTY TWIST ENDING!“
so what i’m getting from this is the ar is a red herring, and caliborn is a MASSIVE red herring. (has caliborn been 100% canon confirmed to be lord english? maybe that’s a red herring? i don’t think so though)
006865 "uu: HOW VERY IRONIC. THAT A LIFE HANGS IN THE BALANCE. uPON YOuR WILLINGNESS TO DRAW ME SOME PORNOGRAPHY.
uu: THE VERY PORNOGRAPHY. WHICH YOu HAVE SPENT A LIFETIME DRAWING. IN YOuR SPARE TIME. BECAuSE YOu PRESuMABLY ENJOY DOING SO.
TT: How is that ironic?
uu: OH YES. HOW IRONIC IT IS INDEED.
uu: AND IT IS FuRTHER IRONIC. THAT THIS GAME IS IRONIC.
uu: IT IS THE VERY IRONY. WHICH YOu YOuRSELF HAVE SPENT A LIFETIME WALLOWING IN.
uu: AND uSING TO JuSTIFY INTERESTS AND BEHAVIORS. WHICH ARE DuMB AND CONFuSING. ” sounds like the horse thing
006867 “uu: NO. THIS ISN’T AS GOOD.
uu: IT’S NOT AS TITILLATING AS I DESIRE.
uu: HAVE THE MALE EAT THE CHILD.” this is so foreshadowing. terrible, terrible foreshadowing.
006868 “TT: So are we done?
uu: YOu WOuLD LOVE THAT. WOuLDN’T YOu.
TT: Nah. I’m fine with doing more if you want.
uu: HOW CONVENIENT IT WOuLD BE FOR YOu. IF WE STOPPED PLAYING MY GAME. AND LET MY SISTER OFF THE HOOK.” this is foreshadowing but i don’t understand what for
“uu: ASKING SHIT IS WHAT BEING CuRIOuS MEANS. I FuCKING WIN ALREADY. YOu TRASH.
TT: Damn.
TT: Owned.
uu: BuT THAT’S WHAT YOu DO WHEN YOu HAVE A SHITTY TWIST ENDING. PLANNED AT THE END OF ALL YOuR GAMES.
uu: SEE. THIS GAME HAS A TWIST. IT IS TWISTED LIKE A LITTLE CANDY SWIRL. THAT IS A KISS ON YOuR FACE FROM AN ANGEL. WHILE YOu MAKE A FuCKING FOOL OF YOuRSELF IN YOuR SLEEP.
TT: I know what a twist is.
TT: Or I did, until you kept saying stupid shit that doesn’t mean anything.
uu: EXACTLY.
uu: IF YOu WANT TO KNOW MY SHITTY TWIST.
uu: YOu HAVE TO KEEP PLAYING MY GAME.”
/storyfiles/hs2/scraps/smuut17.gif “double roses” also dave-coloured roses and text
006870 “uu: NO I’LL THINK ONLY ONCE. YOu ARE SuCCuMBING TO MY GAME. YOu ARE BECOMING PSYCHOLOGICALLY uNGLuED AND I AM WINNING.
TT: Nice wishful thinking there.
TT: I’m not even merely tolerating this, bro.
TT: I swear to god, I’ll get my own horse running harder in this fuckin’ race than you could ever dream.
uu: WHAT. HORSE?”
006871 “uu: YOu MAY THINK YOu’RE SMART. BuT EXCESSIVE SMARTNESS CAN MAKE YOu BE MORE OF AN IDIOT.
uu: INTELLIGENT IDIOCY CAN BE EASILY EXPLOITED BY THE CuNNING AND RuTHLESS. JuST A TIP FOR YOu. BRO. ”
006872 “uu: THE TWIST TO THE TWIST IS.
uu: I WON’T TELL YOu WHAT THE SHITTY TWIST IS FOR A YEAR!!!
TT: Wow.
TT: That…
TT: Really is quite a shitty twist.” THE GIGAPAUSE BETTER NOT GO FOR A YEAR DAMN IT also: this page was on the 25th may 2012. homestuck did not update for all of may 2013
006879 “uu: BASICALLY WHAT I’M SAYING IS.
uu: I’M YET ANOTHER STEP CLOSER.
uu: TO BEING IN TOTAL CONTROL.
uu: OF THE NEW GAME I AM ABOuT TO PLAY.
uu: AND THE OLD GAME BETWEEN uS.
TT: Wait…
TT: What game between us?” my first thought was does lord english have control over homestuck as a narrative but then i remembered homosuck and????
006888 “DAVE: (arent you magic or something)
DAVE: (are you still magic or is your superpower now just talking a lot and wearing orange)
DAVE: (why dont you use your magics to wake her up)
DAVE: (arent you kinda curious to talk to her)
DAVE: (like find out what her deal is)
ROSE: (Yes.)
ROSE: (But I don’t think I know that spell.)
DAVE: (hey what even is magic anyway)
DAVE: (like are spells real like when you do magic are you actualy doing legit spells like the dipshits in harry potter)
DAVE: (babbling up some false baloney ass latin)
ROSE: (Not really?)
DAVE: (i knew it what a load of shit that all is)
ROSE: (What?)
DAVE: (spells and shit)
ROSE: (Um. Ok?)”
006902 “ARANEA: Where was the WORLD 8UILDING, Meenah?” yeah caliborn/zillystuff does a bunch of world building stuff that i don’t get, but is probably foreshadowing, doesn’t it
006908 “TEREZI: (psst)
DIRK: ?
TEREZI: (so)
TEREZI: (wh4t 1s th3 d34l w1th you?)
TEREZI: (m1st3r br41n ph4ntom)”
terezi can “see” imaginary people/?things?
006920 wait never mind we did see what the big thing was, it’s the laboratory off the house
006929 oh no it’s the chess game
“uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: finally getting a bit aggressive with yoUr qUeen there?
UU: UsUally yoU aren’t nearly as patient with her.
UU: the little "gambit” i permitted yoU at the start has certainly inspired some Unconventional play.
UU: it’s not going qUite as miserably for yoU as i expected!
UU: i am sorry to damn yoU with faint praise, bUt with a track record like yoUrs, i sUspect one takes what he can get. ^u^
UU: rook to h4.
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: SO FuCKING SMuG. HAVE I MENTIONED LATELY HOW GREAT IT’S GOING TO BE WHEN YOu’RE DEAD?
uu: JuST BECAuSE YOu HAVE NEVER LOST A MATCH. DOESN’T MEAN YOu WON’T LOSE THE GAME THAT REALLY MATTERS.
uu: NOR DOES IT EVEN MEAN YOu’LL WIN THIS ONE. IT’S FAR FROM OVER. TRuST ME.
uu: “BISHOP TO C6.”
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: why have yoU been enclosing all yoUr moves in qUotes?
UU: yoU have really been acting so odd this match.
UU: knight to d6.
UU: look oUt! i’m coming for her.
UU: i think she’s langUished behind the front lines long enoUgh, woUldn’t yoU say?
UU: time to shake things Up. move her, or take my knight.
UU: yoU know yoU want to take her. jUst look at her there. what a cheeky intrUsion. slithered right into yoUr palace and made herself comfy. maybe she’ll lay an egg once she’s finished her feast. ^U^
UU: might as well take her oUt. yoU know when the action begins and pieces start to fall, that’s when yoU make all yoUr most creative mistakes!
UU: anyhoo, far from over yoU say?
UU: no, i don’t imagine this game will be taking Up mUch more of oUr time.
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: OH MY FuCKING GOD.
uu: BLAH. BLAH. BLAH.
uu: THE QuOTES ARE PART OF THE ENCHANTMENT I MENTIONED.
uu: LIKE PART OF A SPELL. YOu KNOW. MAGIC?
uu: YOu LOVE MAGIC. AND HOW IT’S TOTALLY REAL.
uu: “KNIGHT TO D6.”
uu: THE KNIGHT IS DEAD.
uu: YOuR WORDS ARE BORING.
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]“
firstly, caliborn is pretending magic is real (or something)
secondly this whole thing is probably foreshadowing
thirdly "the knight is dead” that is some unsubtle foreshadowing
006930 “uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: i still don’t know what yoU think yoU’re on aboUt with this enchantment bUsiness.
UU: if it’s a psycheoUt tactic to break my concentration, it isn’t working!
UU: qUeen to a5.
UU: the knight is dead.
UU: yoUr goose is cooked.
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: NO. IT IS WORKING.
uu: YOu ARE ACTuALLY PLAYING VERY POORLY RIGHT NOW.
uu: BuT YOu ARE BLINDED TO YOuR MISTAKES BY MY ENCHANTMENT.
uu: "BISHOP TO F3.”
uu: THE BISHOP IS DEAD.
uu: YOuR SOMETHING IS SOMETHING.
uu: WHATEVER.
uu: CHECK.
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: yes, there yoU go!
UU: that’s the sort of aggression the people paid top boondollar to see.
UU: king to d2.
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: “PAWN TO B6.”
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: bishop to d6.
UU: the knight is dead.
UU: your serpents are lost.
UU: check!
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: OH. WELL SHIT.
uu: IT SuRE DOES APPEAR. THAT I AM IN CHECK.
uu: GuESS I’LL DO SOMETHING ABOuT THAT.
uu: “KING TO F7.”
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: oh dear! so mUch for yoUr enchantment.
UU: that was a dire mistake. mate in foUr.
UU: rook to f4.
UU: check! ~3u
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: “KING TO G7.”
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: qUeen to e5.
UU: check.
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: “KING TO G6.”
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: rook to g4.
UU: check!
UU: one more to go, love.
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: WELL. WHAT IS LEFT FOR ME TO DO.
uu: BESIDES ACCEPT MY DEFEAT GRACEFuLLY.
uu: “KING TO H7.”
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: that’s a fine attitUde. maybe yoU are finally making some progress in the realm of sportsmanship?
UU: qUeen to g7.
UU: checkmate. ^U^
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: NO IT ISN’T.
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: what are yoU talking aboUt?
UU: don’t be a poor sport again. yoU were doing so well there, relatively speaking.
UU: the game is over. better lUck next time, “bro.” ^u^
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: IT IS NOT OVER. “SIS.”
uu: LOOK AT THE BOARD CLOSER.
uu: I AM NOT IN CHECKMATE.
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: i have no idea what yoU’re babbling aboUt. soUnds like desperation to me.
UU: i am looking at the pieces. yoUr king cannot step anywhere that does not pUt him in check.
UU: nor can the threat to him be eliminated by other means.
UU: yoU have been mated.
UU: the king is dead.
UU: yoUr enchantment has failed.
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: THAT IS NOT MY KING.
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: this is becoming silly.
UU: Unless yoU have something to say aboUt the game which actUally makes sense, i am done with it.
UU: i have more important things to do.
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: YOu ARE NOT DONE WITH ANYTHING.
uu: uNLESS YOu WANT TO FORFEIT.
uu: LOOK CLOSER AT THE “KING” AND “QuEEN.”
uu: AND THEN.
uu: REMOVE THEIR CROWNS.
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]“
006931 "uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: oh bloody hell.
UU: THIS was yoUr "enchantment?”
UU: are yoU serioUs???????????
UU: UUUUUUUUUUUgh. this is yoUr shittiest twist yet!
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: WELL PLAYED “SIS!”
uu: YOu CHECKMATED MY QuEEN!
uu: AAH! HAA! HAA! HAA! HAA! HAA! HAA! HAA!
uu: THIS IS SO FuCKING FuNNY.
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: i am jUst astonished.
UU: not at the gUile of yoUr little ploy, bUt by the fact that yoU actUally seem to think this was a clever rUse.
UU: it is jUst so painfUlly daft, i…
UU: i am speechless!
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: NEVER SAW SOMEONE SPEECHLESS. WHO HAD SO MuCH TO TYPE.
uu: I THOuGHT YOu OF ALL PEOPLE WOuLD APPRECIATE MY MODIFICATIONS.
uu: THE CROWNS ARE REALLY NICE AND WELL CRAFTED.
uu: FORM FITTING. HARDLY ADDING ANY HEIGHT.
uu: LIKE CAPPING.
uu: A TOOTH.
uu: YOu WERE COMPLETELY FOOLED.
uu: AND NOW THE COVETED PRANKSTER’S GAMBIT BETWEEN uS.
uu: BELONGS TO ME.
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: this is absUrd.
UU: yoU nagged incessantly for me to allow yoU to reverse the starting positions of the king and qUeen!
UU: i only agreed to get yoU to shUt Up aboUt it, and regardless, i knew i coUld beat yoU anyway even with yoUr initial “advantage.” and i was right!
UU: how can yoU claim this as a legitimate strategy?
UU: yoU broke the rUles!
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: HEY! I DIDN’T BREAK ANY RuLES.
uu: I MERELY ASKED IF YOu WOuLD AGREE. TO ME SWAPPING THE START POSITIONS OF THE KING AND QuEEN.
uu: AND YOu DID AGREE.
uu: BuT THEN I DIDN’T ACTuALLY DO IT.
uu: WHEN DID I SAY I WOuLD? NEVER.
uu: I WAS ONLY GAuGING YOuR WILLINGNESS TO MAKE THE EXCEPTION.
uu: I THEN WENT ABOuT DECORATING MY KING AND QuEEN WITH NICE LITTLE HATS.
uu: WHICH IS *ALSO* NOT AGAINST THE RuLES.
uu: YOu DO IT ALL THE FuCKING TIME. GIVE YOuR GAME PIECES HORNS AND SHIT.
uu: YOu EVEN GIVE THEM NAMES AND BLOOD CASTES. YuCK.
uu: SO IF YOu HAVE A PROBLEM WITH MY DECORATIONS. I SAY POT. ALLOW ME TO INTRODuCE YOU TO THE FuCKING KETTLE.
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: i cannot believe yoU are defending this maneUver.
UU: yes, i sUppose some of these tactics are technically within boUnds of the LETTER of the rUles, bUt the entire charade was highly disingenoUs and Unsportsmanlike.
UU: it is Unbelievably childish, even for yoU!
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: I KNOW. I AM A CHILD.
uu: SO ARE YOu. IT JuST SO HAPPENS THAT YOu ARE A CHILD.
uu: WHO JuST GOT FuCKING SERVED.
uu: IT IS NOT AGAINST THE RuLES TO BE CHILDISH. OR DISINGENuOuS. OR uNSPORTSMANLIKE.
uu: IT’S ALSO NOT AGAINST THE RuLES TO BE A BASTARD. WHICH IS ANOTHER THING I AM.
uu: EVERY SINGLE THING I DID WAS LEGAL.
uu: MY QuEEN. DISGuISED AS A KING. MADE MOVES LIKE A KING. WHICH IS WITHIN ITS CAPABILITY. THIS WAS DONE TO DECEIVE YOu.
uu: MY KING. DISGuISED AS A QuEEN. MADE MOVES LIKE A KING. BECAuSE DOING OTHERWISE WOuLD BREAK THE RuLES.
uu: BuT YOu BELIEVED IT HAD HER POWERS. AND I uSED THIS TO MY ADVANTAGE.
uu: WHICH WAS HILARIOuS TO OBSERVE. WATCHING YOu BACK AWAY FROMS “THREATS.” FROM WHAT WAS IN TRuTH A DISTANT KING!
uu: ALL THE WHILE MY RuSE. PATENTLY OBVIOuS IN HINDSIGHT. WENT EMBARRASSINGLY uNDETECTED.
uu: NO RuLES BROKEN. NOT ONCE.
uu: IN FACT. IF ANYONE HERE BROKE THE RuLES.
uu: IT WAS YOu.
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: WHAT??
UU: absolUte bollocks.
UU: what rUles did i break?!
UU: this oUght to be good!
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: YOu AGREED TO LET ME START WITH THE KING AND QuEEN IN SWAPPED POSITIONS.
uu: IT’S AGAINST THE RuLES TO MAKE AN EXCEPTION LIKE THAT. EVEN IF YOuR OPPONENT IS BEING OBNOXIOuS ABOuT IT.
uu: YOuR WILLINGNESS TO BREAK THE RuLES IS DISGuSTING TO ME. YOu SHOuLD FEEL ASHAMED OF YOuRSELF.
uu: LuCKILY. AT LEAST ONE OF uS HAS RESPECT FOR THE RuLES.
uu: I STARTED WITH ALL MY PIECES IN THE CORRECT POSITION.
uu: IN SPITE OF YOuR WILLINGNESS TO ALLOW THOSE RuLES TO BE BROKEN.
uu: WHICH AS I HAVE ADDRESSED. IS TOTALLY SHAMEFuL.
uu: YOu ARE VERY FORTuNATE TO HAVE A “BRO” WHO RESPECTS THE INTEGRITY OF THE GAME EVEN WHERE HIS “SIS” MIGHT FALTER.
uu: A “BRO” WHO. WHILE FuLLY ADHERING TO THE RuLES. AND EXPOSING YOuR HIDDEN SHAMEFuL TENDENCIES.
uu: STILL MANAGED TO DEFEAT YOu.
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: YOU PRICK!!!!!!!!!!!
UU: ohh, i coUld jUst strangle yoU.
UU: yoU don’t even know how tempted i am to do so right now.
UU: i did not break the rUles. i was doing yoU a FAVOUR.
UU: in any case, yoU say yoU managed to beat me? when did that happen!
UU: even thoUgh yoU’ve exposed yoUr rUse, yoU haven’t actUally mated me yet, grandmaster “bro.”
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: THEN YOu ADMIT THE GAME CONTINuES TO BE PERFECTLY LEGITIMATE. AND STILL IN PLAY?
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: bring it on!!!!!!!!!!!
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: QuEEN TO C2.
uu: CHECK.
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]“
006932 "uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: king to e3.
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: ROOK TO E3.
uu: CHECK.
uu: SOMEONE’S IN DEEP SHIT.
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: blech. look at this royal cockUp.
UU: this is so stUpid.
UU: now i either have to sacrifice my qUeen, or move my king into a strategically horrible position.
UU: why am i even going along with this?
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: YES. THAT SuRE IS A STRATEGIC DILEMMA.
uu: WHO WOuLD HAVE THOuGHT. THAT THE GAME OF CHESS. WOuLD PRESENT SuCH A SCENARIO?
uu: DO YOu FORFEIT.
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: yoU wish.
UU: to hell with it. let’s sacrifice the qUeen.
UU: i still pUt odds in my favoUr, with my rooks and bishop versUs yoUr bishop, rook, and qUeen.
UU: i’ve bested yoU before with less material and initiative on my side.
UU: qUeen to c3.
UU: the rook is dead.
UU: my "bro” is an arse!
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: WHOA. WHAT A HuGE MISTAKE. HA. HA.
uu: I THINK I MuST BE IN YOuR HEAD. EVEN MORE THAN uSuAL.
uu: QuEEN TO C3.
uu: THE QuEEN IS DEAD.
uu: THE BITCH FuCKED uP.
uu: CHECK!
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: oh shUt Up and play.
UU: king to e2.
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: PAWN TO E5.
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: rook to c4.
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: BWA HA HA.
uu: ANOTHER IDIOTIC BLuNDER. THIS IS SO EASY.
uu: QuEEN TO F3.
uu: CHECK.
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: king to d2.
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: QuEEN TO D5.
uu: CHECK.
uu: ON THE FuCKING RuuuuuuuuuuuN. WOO. HOO. HOO.
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: shUsh.
UU: king to c2.
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: QuEEN TO D6.
uu: THE BISHOP IS DEAD.
uu: HIS FLESH CONSuMED.
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: wait, where did yoU pUt it?
UU: yoU better not have jUst literally eaten the bishop.
UU: rook to c8.
UU: check.
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: KING TO D7.
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: rook to h8.
UU: the rook is dead.
UU: oUr shits weren’t given.
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: QuEEN TO C5.
uu: HAA. HAA.
uu: CHECK.
uu: ANYFuCK. NO. I DON’T IMAGINE THIS GAME WILL BE TAKING uP MuCH MORE OF OuR TIME.
uu: SSSSSSSSSSS.
uu: DID SOMEONE LET THE SNAKES LOOSE?
uu: OR WAS THAT THE SOuND OF MY VICIOuS bURN.
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: grr.
UU: king to d2.
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: QuEEN TO D5.
uu: CHECK.
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: king to e2.
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: QuEEN TO F3.
uu: CHECK.
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: king to d2.
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: QuEEN TO G4.
uu: THE ROOK IS DEAD.
uu: OuR CHESS SET IS SHRINKING.
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: will yoU stop… *DOING THINGS* with the dead pieces!
UU: i swear, as if the jUvenile “enchantment” wasn’t enoUgh, if it tUrns oUt yoU are also losing or destroying pieces deliberately, I AM GOING TO STRAIGHT UP FLIP A BITCH.
UU: rook to h7.
UU: CHECK!!!!!!!!!!!
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: KING TO C6.
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: king to c2.
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: WOW. ANOTHER AWFuL MOVE!
uu: YOu’RE PLAYING ALMOST AS SHITTY AS I uSuALLY DO.
uu: LOOKS LIKE MY ENCHANTMENT WORKED BETTER THAN I THOuGHT.
uu: FOR SOMETHING THAT WAS IN REALITY.
uu: FAKE ASS MAGIC.
uu: QuEEN TO E4.
uu: CHECK.
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: king to b2.
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: QuEEN TO H7.
uu: THE ROOK IS DEAD.
uu: THE JIG IS uP.
uu: MATE IN FOuR.
uu: OR LESS!
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]“
006933 only pieces left are two red pawns, two green pawns, and the red and green kings
could be the alpha and beta sessions
"uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: FUCK THIS!!!!!!!!!!!
UU: i don’t know why i bothered hUmoUring yoUr vile Underhanded rUbbish!
UU: I HATE YOU. JUST SOD RIGHT OFF TO HELL, PLEASE.
uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: HEY THERE. BE CAREFuL.
uu: A GuY COuLD GET THE WRONG IDEA. AND MISTAKE YOuR OuTBuRST FOR SOMETHING.
uu: CALIGINOuS.
uu: THAT WOuLD BE MOST uN"SISTERLY.” DON’T YOu THINK.
uu: ANYWAY. BY THE LOOKS OF THIS MESSY BOARD.
uu: I’M GOING TO ASSuME YOu FORFEITED THE MATCH.
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]
UU: yoU are disgUsting.
UU: i really loathe yoU, and no, NOT IN “THAT WAY!”
UU: i am not going to talk to yoU for a while. probably a LONG while.
UU: i only hope i can overcome my contempt for yoU when it comes time to play oUr game. bUt i am not holding my breath!!!!!!!!!!!
UU: leave me alone.
uranianUmbra [UU] blocked undyingUmbrage [uu]
undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU]
uu: YOu BLOCKED ME AGAIN? YOu KNOW THAT DOESN’T DO ANYTHING.
uu: ANYWAY. I’M HAPPY WE ARE IN AGREEMENT THAT I WON.
uu: YOu SHOuLDN’T uNDERESTIMATE ME.
uu: I’LL LEAVE YOu ALONE FOR A WHILE LIKE YOu WANT. BECAuSE REALLY. WHO CARES ABOuT YOu?
uu: BuT YOu SHOuLD BELIEVE ME.
uu: WHEN I TELL YOu.
uu: SOME DAY.
uu: I’M GOING TO KILL YOu IN YOuR SLEEP.
uu: MAYBE EVEN.
uu: MORE THAN ONCE.
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]“
006982 "UU: coUld it have been that regUlar intake of yoUr soporific liqUids was inhibiting yoUr commUnion with the void, rather than exaggerating them as i had presUmed?
UU: if the effects are wearing off, it coUld explain the increase in viewport blackoUts.
UU: and once they wear off completely, perhaps that is why yoUr entire session goes dark on yoUr entry.
TG: that is an interesting theory that has like
TG: mostly no usefull bearing on anything probably?”
if alcohol inhibits god tier abilities, does that mean that rose has been kind of useless for the past two years or so? should we trust anything she’s exposited while drunk?
“TG: you know everything right
UU: hee hee! if only.”
homestuck really likes to remind us that calliope does not know everything, more than most other characters
(and seems similar to how we were reminded of doc scratch’s lies of evasion stuff)
006983 “
UU: i do know a thing or two aboUt the red miles.
UU: it is the qUeen’s favoUred attack. very long distance and omnidirectional.
UU: bUt once Upon a time, her weapon was stolen by a UsUrper. jacked, yoU coUld say, right off her ring finger. and then given a considerable boost in power.
UU: that gave the miles enoUgh of a kick to rip a Universe to shreds.
UU: and they have been doing so to yoUrs and its many instances for eons.
UU: only now have they caUght Up to yoUr instance. it is qUite fortUnate it has taken so long, really.
UU: some instances are tUcked deeper in the speaker’s mighty blow sack, and will hold oUt for mUch longer, on a vast cosmic scale of coUrse.
TG: wait
TG: i dont
TG: what? instances
TG: blowb sack
TG: righ now i can hardly walk w/o steppin on my moms scarf ok
TG: so theyre destorying the universe is that the bootom line
UU: yes.
UU: try to think of it like this.
UU: imagine that the Universe is contained inside a very large creatUre.
UU: say, a great big frog.
TG: frog
TG: why a frog thats so silly
UU: it’s jUst a frog! that is the way it is, jUst try to imagine it.
TG: k
TG: picturin
TG: big ol space frog
TG: all ribbiting loud an being huge
TG: hehehe
UU: now imagine that not only does the Universe exist inside it, depending on the creatUre’s health and well being to sUrvive…
UU: bUt every potential instance of that Universe exists inside as well.
UU: those that are doomed and those with promise.
UU: even those that were reset from scratch, with slightly different starting conditions.
UU: all of those interrelated Universes mingling together inside yoUr frog, inextricable from its physiology.
UU: if the frog dies, they all go with it. eventUally.
TG: then you are saying some rude a-hole is killin our frog
UU: sadly, yes.
TG: wow
TG: that is
TG: just….
TG: the WORST
UU: well, it coUld have been worse, actUally. the miles coUld have spread to yoUr Universe before it had the chance to sproUt yoUr lovely planet, providing a home for yoU and yoUr wonderfUl mates.
UU: all Universes die at some point. some sooner than others. it is all part of the cycle, and sometimes things like this mUst happen for reasons beyond oUr Understanding.”
006971 “uu: BETTER HuRRY uP.
uu: YOu CAN’T ESCAPE THE MILES.
uu: NO ONE CAN ESCAPE THE MILES!
TT: Why do you keep saying that?
TT: Are you trying to turn it into some sort of Thing?
uu: IT ALREADY IS A THING. INASMuCH.
uu: AS FACTS ARE THINGS.
uu: HERE ARE MORE FACTS THAT ARE THINGS.
uu: YOu ARE GOING TO DIE SOON.
uu: YOuR WHOLE uNIVERSE IS GOING TO DIE.
uu: BECAuSE.
uu: YOu CAN’T.
uu: ESCAPE.
uu: THE MIIIIIIIIIIILES.
TT: Sorry, it’s not going to start being a Thing no matter how much you say it. Give it a rest.
uu: NO.” it is a thing though
006972 “uu: JuST BECAuSE THE SAME THING IS HAPPENING THERE.
uu: YOu THINK THERE IS CORRELATION. BEYOND SOME SORT OF CIRCuMSTANTIALLY SIMuLTANEOuS. FuCKRuBBISH?”
“uu: SOMEONE COMMISSIONED JACK. SORT OF.
uu: PuT OuT A HIT ON YOuR ENTIRE uNIVERSE. AND ALL ITS INTERNAL ITERATIONS.
uu: DON’T YOu THINK THAT’S FuCKING AWESOME?
TT: I thought you didn’t know much about our story? You usually like to brag about how you don’t care about details like that.
uu: I MAINLY JuST SKIM PAST IT ALL WITH DISGuST. EXCEPT FOR THE PARTS.
uu: WHERE PEOPLE DIE.
uu: I COuLD READ THOSE.
uu: OVER AND OVER.
uu: AND ALSO MAYBE THE PARTS.
uu: WHERE PEOPLE "KISS”?
uu: IN THE WAY THAT WHEN YOu CHANCE uPON SOMETHING.
uu: uNSPEAKABLY AND VISCERALLY ABHORRENT.
uu: IT GETS HARD.
TT: Does it now.
uu: TO PRY YOuR EYES AWAY!“
006974 "uu: YOuR JuJu.
uu: REMEMBER I TOLD YOu TO BRING IT TO THE ROOF.
TT: Cal? Yeah, I remember.
uu: SHHHHHHHHHHH. DON’T SAY ITS "NAME” YOu IDIOT.
uu: NOW TAKE OuT THE JuJu.“
caliborn doesn’t like cal’s name (could be as it sounds kind of like caliborn)
006975 "uu: NOW THROW IT IN THE FIRE.
TT: Screw you.
TT: I’m not chucking the C-man into a flaming ocean.
uu: IT IS THE uLTIMATE ABOMINATION.
uu: YOuR JuJu MAY BE DEAD AND HOLLOW. BuT SOMETHING TELLS ME.
uu: THAT MIGHT MAKE IT EVEN MORE DANGEROuS.
uu: DISCARD IT AT ONCE. TREASuRE BEYOND COMPREHENSION IS YOuR REWARD.
TT: No.
TT: Keep your treasure.
uu: AH HA HA. AS IF IT IS NOT INEVITABLY DESTINED TO FALL FROM YOuR HuMAN FINGERS.
uu: AND BECOME ERASED AS YOuR uNIVERSE DIES.
uu: DIDN’T I MENTION.
uu: A JuJu CAN NEVER BE TRuLY COPIED.
uu: IF TWO APPEAR TO EXIST. SuCH AS ONE IN REALITY AND ONE IN YOuR DREAMS.
uu: IT IS ONLY AN ILLuSION. EITHER NEVER TRuE. OR SOON TO BE CORRECTED.
uu: THERE CAN ONLY EVER BE ONE.
TT: Well, I’m not tossing him, so that’s that. ”
“TT: You must have some wires crossed between your left brain and right brain. Like a weird perceptual disorder. Or something like that.
TT: It’s actually kind of fascinating that you think you achieved something visually coherent or recognizable. ”
006989 “TG: it is womon verse machine
TG: a struggle old as stuff itself
TG: she will bring sburb to its knees
TG: and then turn
TG: with her shitwreckingest face
TG: and stare
TG: into the void
TG: and the void
TG: will wonk first
TG: ;3”
006992 “TG: well ty for finally confiding in me calilope” lil cal
“UU: that jUst happened to be a planet from yoUr system i thoUght was lovely.
UU: i was particUlarly strUck by its UniqUe rotation.
UU: it has very nice…
UU: bollocks, what’s the word.
UU: the term that refers to a ball’s topspin?
TG: ??? ”
ENGLISH
006993 “UU: i believed he and i coUld play together, even Under oUr UniqUe biological circUmstances.
UU: i was so daft, i thoUght skaia had actUally made an exception for Us.
UU: and that we coUld overcome oUr conflicts, work together, and fUlfill the game’s minimUm reqUirement of two players. one of space and the other of time.
UU: bUt i was always fooling myself.
UU: it is now clear only one of Us will sUrvive.
UU: my skaian visions have misled me.
UU: or i have blinded myself to their trUe meaning.
UU: this was always meant to be a session of one.
UU: and i am finally starting to Understand…
UU: the reality of that coUld have conseqUences more horrifying than we coUld begin to imagine.
TG: um
TG: how
UU: the thing is, yoU don’t know him like i do.
UU: as hard as it may be to believe, he is even worse than yoU think.
UU: and it’s all sUch a shame, not jUst becaUse of that.
UU: it is a shame that i won’t be able to play, i gUess for selfish reasons.
UU: i was so looking forward to it.
UU: i really thoUght i was going to be someone special.
UU: that i coUld Use my abilities do something no one had ever done.
TG: hey you are being so defeatist stop that!
TG: you dont know you wont play we havent even tried the wakeup call yet remembr???
UU: yes. you’re right.
UU: mUch like skaia, i’ve sUccUmbed to a gloomier outlook lately, due to recent setbacks.
TG: so whats going to be special bout your game?
TG: aside from that its just your fuckhead bro and you
UU: well, i was always led to believe i woUld be an extraordinary type of player.
UU: both of Us woUld be. we are both assigned extremely rare and powerfUl classes.
UU: they are the two master classes!
TG: oh yeh?
TG: what is urs
UU: mine is the most passive on the scale. a class designated for females only.
UU: i am the mUse of space. ^u^
TG: sounds p cool
TG: whats a muse do
UU: i’m not entirely sUre. i was hoping to discover that on my joUrney.
UU: anyway, his is the other master class.
UU: the most active class of all, reserved for male players.
TG: what is it
UU: Um…
UU: roxy.
UU: i think we may be getting a wee bit carried away with trivia here.
UU: we both have so mUch to do.
UU: yoU need to focUs on getting to safety, while i need to…
UU: prepare myself. for what i hope will be a short nap.
TG: ok
TG: you are right
TG: la siiiiiigh
TG: im worried 4 you
TG: but optimistic
TG: i will call ur name like a million times
TG: and shout it in 2 the void every chance i get
TG: til u come back :3
UU: you are a good friend, roxy.
UU: please take care.”
007001 fooorrreshaaaddooowwwiiiiinnnnngggg
007004 special stardust: “It doesn’t even have any magical properties though. It’s really just some useless sparkly powder they like to eat. It’s basically inedible to any other kind of creature. However, it is potentially quite useful for various arts and crafts.”
007006 “YOuR DEATH. WILL BE. YOuR SINGLE GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT.”
“YOuR "FRIENDS” WILL BE HAPPY"
possibly foreshadowing via dramatic irony
007008 “The ancient tome there is your chief source of information about said epic. It was written by a legendary Seer of Light many ages ago. While there are some mysterious holes in the account – dark spots if you will – it nevertheless remains an indispensable resource.”
007009 “You’re sure he would get a kick out of the idea though, what with his megalomaniacal view of himself as some sort of lethal puzzlemaster, always boasting that red herrings swim through his veins and such. Which is just about the biggest crock of shit you’ve ever heard.”
007010 “These are the dark spots you were referring to. Little tidbits here and there have been redacted by some fool with no respect for history. Looks like he used some kind of peculiar indigo ink.
Frustratingly enough, most of the redactions target any piece of information about the indestructible demon who was either directly or indirectly behind every terrible event in the story. Everything about him, like where he came from, information about his manipulative right hand man, his agenda, his abilities, his name… all of it has been voided out.
Most of the other blot-outs seem to target one member of the post-scratch troll group. Some guy who drinks a lot of soda? These omissions strike you as much less consequential. Frivolous, even. Whoever that guy was, he sounds like he was easily the least important character in the entire story.” gamzee is the most important character in homestuck
007013 “The WHITE WAND is your weapon of choice, half the time. Magic is very handy. Some believe magic to be fake. But you know better than that.
Of course, if anyone tried using this wand right now, it sure would seem like magic wasn’t real. Can’t very well use magic when your wand is out of bullets.” it is a wand/gun but i d k (is magic bullets? are guns magic?)
007014 “You load your WHITE MAGNUM.
You wouldn’t trade your dualing weapon for any other. It is lightweight, elegant and precise, like a conductor’s baton with stopping power.” reference to earlier act titles?
007018 “Both chains are totally unbreakable, and their anchors are immovable from the wall, due to a mysterious juju enchantment. All juju enchantments are equally mysterious. Each is more equally mysterious than the last.”
007028 STILL don’t know why the meteor’s on earth in another universe
also i havent’ been recording it but there sure are a lot of references to jake’s skull.
007075 “uu: I’LL TEACH HIM A LESSON FOR THAT.”
well that’s basically straight up saying that lord english is going to do something to jake
007076 “uu: CHECK OuT THIS TOP SHELF HO.
uu: DON’T YOu LIKE HER THE MOST?
uu: YOu *WISH*. THAT YOu COuLD BE SO EASY ON THE EYES.
uu: IT’S TOO BAD YOu WILL DIE HIDEOuS!
uu: AND YET YOu WILL LEAVE BEHIND. A TRuLY BREATH TAKING CORPSE.” i feel like this means something but i’m not sure what
007099 ok caliborn spends the last several pages talking about how there can only ever be one [lil cal], while dirk’s cal falls into the ocean. i might be reading a bit too much into this but is caliborn implying he is lil cal? there’s evidence that lil cal is some form of lord english or is a horcrux of lord english. idk.
(and then he laughs a lot, like calsprite.)
007106 dream ghost dirk becomes real, maybe. becomes dreaming dream dirk in a dream bubble at least, and is visible to everyone.
007128 he’s not real enough to leave the dream bubble
007151 why is there a firefly in the lantern, and why did it explode?
007157 pinata that looks suspiciously like caliborn, hanging from a tree
007161 caliborn: enter
lord english’s cairo overcoat teleports using le-coloures spirographs
he has the wand when he’s doing the ghost-killing laser, idk if it has anything to do with the laser though
horrorterrors have purple blood apparently
007188 “JADE: i used to LOVE the squiddles show when i was really young
JADE: but as i got older i started to realize it wasnt as great as i thought it was
JADE: i was just too young to see how it was actually a flagrant vehicle for selling merchandise
JADE: and if you believed the conspiracy theorists it might have even been pushing some other dark hidden agendas….. ” not sure if this is the squiddles/horrorterrors metaphor or something else
007195 “JOHN: no, i don’t want to talk about physics! i don’t know anything about the laws of physics, because they are hard and boring.
JOHN: i simply would like them to behave in a way that is most convenient to ME and MY LIFE! is that really asking too much?
JADE: yes as a matter of fact it is!
JOHN: well, guess what? SCIENCE IS STUPID BULLSHIT!!!
JADE: you take that back!!!!!
JOHN: no.
JOHN: magic is awesome.
JOHN: science blows.
JOHN: the end. ”
007273 again with the horses. next few pages too.
actually these panels are definitely meant to mirror DOTA, so could htat be foreshadowing that le is going to kill john? or something?
007283 “JOHN: why do you want this desert ring so bad. is it magic?
JOHN: i don’t really feel magic wearing it…
JOHN: i mean, not any more than usual.
TAVROS: i DON’T KNOW, iF IT’S MAGIC,
TAVROS: tHAT’S NOT WHY i WANT IT,” i think this is the ring of life/void? also lots of lotr references around this thing
007288 “VRISKA: There’s always someone stronger w8ing to 8e revealed. Jack showed up shortly after that, and he was MUCH stronger.
VRISKA: Eventually the curtains get pulled 8ack, and you find out who was 8ehind every terri8le thing that happened all along. Someone who is invaria8ly stronger than all other adversaries 8y a wide margin. The supreme villain!
VRISKA: To 8e honest, I was always kind of w8ing for that guy to show up, whoever he was. For the other shoe to drop, you know? There’s always a 8ig 8ad 8ehind everything. A true gamer sees stuff like this coming a mile away. ”
yknow a lot of that could fit hussie
he even said “pay no attention to the man behind the curtain” at one point i think. i think it was a wizard of oz reference but hey
“VRISKA: He’s the 8ig 8ad!!!!!!!! It’s so o8vious. I mean, MAY8E there’s someone stronger out there in paradox space? Who knows.
VRISKA: 8ut whoever that is has nothing to fucking do with this massive extended multiverse-spanning campaign!!!!!!!!
VRISKA: English was the guy who stacked the whole deck against us from the start, rigging shit to go haywire, wiping out our race, 8lowing up universes, exterimin8ting ghosts, slaughtering dark gods, and shattering reality itself. Pretty sure we reached the top floor, 8uddy! ”
“TAVROS: yOU WERE WRONG ABOUT LOTS OF THINGS,
TAVROS: yOU WERE WRONG ABOUT RUFIO!
TAVROS: rUFIO WAS REAL ALL ALONG, }:D
VRISKA: Alright, granted, there did in fact exist a person 8y that name.
VRISKA: You aren’t spelling it right, though.
TAVROS: hOW DO YOU KNOW HOW i’M SPELLING IT, wHEN i’M JUST TALKING, iNSTEAD OF USING LETTERS,
VRISKA: 8ecause that’s how you spelled it when we used to chat online, dum8ass!!!!!!!! You weren’t using enough letters.
TAVROS: sO,
VRISKA: And in any case, he doesn’t actually represent your self esteem. He’s just some dude.
TAVROS: bUT, hE MAKES ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF wHEN i THINK OF HIM, sO THE REALITY IS EFFECTIVELY EQUIVALENT TO MY FRAUDULENT CHILDHOOD SUPERSTITION,”
007290 “VRISKA: The third prong is what Tavros and I are 8usy with. The aforementioned treasure hunt.
VRISKA: The legend says there’s some mystical ancient treasure hidden somewhere out here in the furthest ring.
VRISKA: I’m assuming it’s some kind of weapon. It’s said that if you use it, or like, activ8te it in some way, he can 8e defeated forever.
VRISKA: The nature of the treasure is pretty vague, actually. 8ut the first rule of treasure hunting, which I’m admittedly just making up now, is that it doesn’t fucking matter what the treasure is.” where is this legend from?? who said so and can we trust them?
“VRISKA: These three goals are all tied to the same legend which I’ve uncovered clues a8out over time. Legendary shit is everywhere out here. I’m seriously up to my ass in legend. Hell, I probably even qualify as a legend myself!!!!!!!!
VRISKA: When it comes to solving a 8ig mystery like this, it doesn’t hurt that everywhere we go, places are composed of the collective memories of many different adventurers.
VRISKA: We’ve explored ancient crypts, networks of 8urial mounds, dusty old tom8s, giant pyramids, you name it. Hints a8out the endgame are hidden all over the place.
VRISKA: Really, everyone’s pretty lucky I died so I could do all the dirty work on this. Let’s get real, no8ody’s 8etter prepared to take on the treasure hunting duties than I am.”
“VRISKA: Not that I’d have it any other way. This just sounds like the 8est plan to me. Why 8other messing around with an army of ghostly dipshits, or some shy magic alien when you can go str8 for the ultim8 weapon?
VRISKA: Hell, may8e I’ll just walk right up to him, one-shot the guy and end it all right there.
VRISKA: That’s how a real pro goes a8out 8usiness. You take any shortcut you find.
JOHN: (i am going to wish as super hard as i can that i wake up with this ring.)
JOHN: (it’s probably magic, so i bet it makes my wish come true!)
TAVROS: (i doubT that From happeNing,)
JOHN: (if i wish hard enough, that will make it slightly less impossible!)
TAVROS: (oh, you bastARD, you arE gOOd,)
JOHN: (i think some day i will use it to propose to *MY* girlfriend. what do you think about THAT, wise guy?)
TAVROS: (noOO!!!)”
openbound part 3 (007298) damara’s conversations
“DAMARA: 私は彼の魂を消費するために悪魔をもたらすでしょう。 ((I will bring the devil in order to consume his soul.__
RUFIOH: man, no! 1 told you, please don’t feed anyone’s soul to ANYBODY!!!
RUFIOH: you’ve got to keep crazy talk l1ke that down, damara!
((next bit is screencapped))
((then))
"DAMARA: あなたは必然だけを遅らせる。
DAMARA: 私たちの終了時間が近いです。”
((DAMARA: You only delay the inevitable.
DAMARA: end our time is near.“))
”((At the end of all surrounds us.“)) yeah not translating the rest of what she wanted to do to horuss
"DAMARA: あなたは時間の領主に挑戦します。
DAMARA: あなたの哀れな軍隊は失敗しなければならない。
DAMARA: 彼はあなたの幽霊を食べるようになる。彼は現実そのものを消費するからである。”
((“You challenge the lord of time.
DAMARA: pathetic your army must fail.
DAMARA: he will eat the ghost of you. Because he consumes reality itself.”))
didn’t catch it but dave said while rapping about lord english:
“(still feel like i should bring puppets into this)
(don’t know why)”
007304 “ROSE: Thusis why apples are sush indivisible symbols, when it comes to thefield of ideas and their reducshunistHIC!!!!! reductionishtic essence from the perispective of humans in paticular.
ROSE: Both from a stantpoint of cultrulal and mytholurgical singificence,, and from a pratical one a swell, if you happen to fine yourself acshualy trying to ENGINEEEer one.
ROSE: Why do you thing, HIC!!! Why do you think Adam mand Eve were punished for biting in to one??
ROSE: They attemped to pentetrate an indivisible unit, uf fundamenetal knowledge. To consume the interior of a thought whish cantot be reduced any further.
ROSE: This knowleshe was for BIDDEN..! Hic. So humanity was forever bandished to live in sin, and, hass strive ever sinse to redeem isself from the hubrinse of this innallectual foily.
ROSE: Hahaha! , Foily.
ROSE: *FOLLY. 🙂
ROSE: Or what about, the tale of Isaac Newdon under the tree?? He was BONKED on the head by an apple.
ROSE: Not reallyan apple though… an atomic idea. An emlemental unit of inspripation itself, id clocked him right on then noggin.
ROSE: And this indivisible notion colliding with hish awareness, much like.. . a high speed partical fired to create a nuculear chain reacation, jarred from the void a more profund unnerstand, HIC, ing of the intrinsic nature of nothiness. Thatis,. Gravivitation.
ROSE: Of course thess stories are acutually bullshit. They didn’t happen in realaity. But thef act that they’rare bullshit makes them more inshresting.
ROSE: Men have crefted many stories that are bullshit out of symbols risen from the abyss of coinsciousness withou necesharily knowing whath e fuck they were doing or saying, as they flounered around for some truth.
ROSE: Bust in spite of themseleves they would for howefer briefly cross through a ray of light regarless. Becuss of the sbymbols. Dave.. The symbols hol dall the power.”
i feel like this is probably a metaphor for all of homestuck or something. the last bit sounds kind of important though
“DAVE: i told you i dont want any of your experimental fucking spacewizard booze”
007328 “she yelled and yelled, [b]ut no one could see h[er]” callie wrote fic about for some reason
007329 hang on caliborn is scribbling over this page in calliope’s fic
if calliope wrote about what meenah and vriska were talking about (INCLUDING BASICALLY ALL DETAILS OF THEIR PLAN) then caliborn might have read it. this is bad. esp. since he could know everything about their plan and they have no idea
007341 yeah still don’t know what that’s doing there
007346 “It’s hard being a cherub and growing up with lots of weird magical rules that nobody understands and have no discernible origin or purpose.
It’s hard being a cherub and growing up with lots of weird magical rules that nobody understands and have no discernible origin or purpose, and nobody understands.”
007357 “Look.
No wait. Don’t look. Just…
Listen.
You don’t have time for fancy poetry. It’s almost as useless as having your thoughts dictated to you, assuming you were even aware of that happening, which you definitely aren’t. Cherubs aren’t prone to that kind of self awareness. No way, absolutely not. Yes, you believe that thought. The one you had just now, by your own volition, and now it’s true reality. See? Yes, you agree totally with that thought you had.
Frankly you don’t know about stuff skimming holes or alertness to some purely hypothetical flow of narrative or whatever. You’ve got MAJOR PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS. You were meant to be a monster. To destroy something huge and really important, perhaps repeatedly, and to be a total shithead about it. You just haven’t found the road that’ll take you there yet. Somewhere in this depressing empty lot of a session there is a quest waiting for you. You are determined to squeeze more blood from this pathetic stone than all the naturally occurring puppets in paradox space keep in their squishy little torsos combined.
You stew in your own quasi-lucid hostility as you think this very thought. The one right here, that feels like it’s being dictated to you, you think. You think it feels that way, so you guess it’s true. But we previously agreed that you were the sole author of your own thoughts, didn’t we? That’s the thought you should be thinking, and more importantly, believing in as hard as you can, thus slightly reducing its stubborn fakeness attribute. You then think the word, HUH? That doesn’t sound like a thought you would have, you think to yourself thoughtfully. What the fuck? But seriously, you’ve got to stop this. If you keep thinking thoughts like this, you’ll probably start going crazy. And if you start going crazy, this desolate one player session will start to feel a lot longer than it’s already going to, and more specifically, than it already did. Still, you can’t quite shake the feeling.
You have a feeling it’s already been a long–Hey!”
THIS LOOKS REALLY REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT
007364 not necessarily this page, but it seems important that roxy did not kiss jane, and dirk did.
007366 “TG: dying is a hell of a way to sober up quick
TG: got 2 remember that trick” can this please not be foreshadowing (could be foreshadowing of rose, orxy, or terezi)
007372 wings appear to be fake??? (oh god can gamzee please not get god tier by believing really hard in being god tier holy shit)
007378 “HEY.
VOICE IN MY HEAD.
Yes?
SHUT UP.” how caliborn interprets narration?
007381 “Well, they weren’t great so much as terrible. But the point is you can accomplish anything if you put your mind to it.
Just because you struggle with learning doesn’t mean you can’t realize your destiny. You just have to work a little harder at it.”
007383 “What did you expect? He’s clearly a god tier.
BULLSHIT.
Haven’t you ever seen a god tier before?
You do know what that is, right?
YES, I KNOW WHAT THAT IS.
Then you know he’s immortal, and can only die under very specific circumstances.
Guess there’s no point in trying to kill him!
BUT HIS WINGS FELL OFF!
I SAW THEM FALL OFF.
Hmm.
Yeah. I guess they did.
So?
SO. I THINK. HE’S PROBABLY FAKING.
Oh please. Paranoid much??
Why would anyone go to that kind of trouble? What would be the point?
He would have to be such a jackass to do that.
I DON’T KNOW WHY HE’S FAKING.
I JUST KNOW THOSE WINGS WERE BOGUS PIECES OF SHIT. THAT WERE LIKE. STRAPPED ON.
WHICH MEANS. HE IS A FRAUD.
If you don’t believe me, just see for yourself.
HUH?
You made the rookie mistake of turning your back on the body.
OH MY GOD.”
007384 “Just please don’t shoot him again, ok?
WHY. IF YOU SAY HE’S IMMORTAL. THEN IT SHOULDN’T MATTER, RIGHT.
Yeah, I know what I said.
Alright, maybe he’s not god tier. Who can really say for sure?
Just try giving the machine gun a rest for a while. He really wants to help you!
I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY THIS FUCKER WON’T DIE.
He’s a hilarious, rascally clown!
You know how it is with clowns.
NO??
They are notoriously difficult to kill for reasons that basically don’t make any sense.
I’m personally not aware of a single timeline in which this codpiece packing moron dies.
WHAT. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN.
It means you can’t keep down the clown.
??????
Say it with me.
"You can’t keep down the clown.”
NO, I WON’T SAY THAT.
SAY IT!
“You can’t…”
GO FUCK YOURSELF. JUST TELL ME WHAT IT MEANS.
It means crazy clowns just won’t die for some reason. In adventures such as yours, they tend to linger long past their welcome.
They linger and linger and linger, and just when you think you’re totally fed up with their bullshit and you can’t take another second of it, they just linger some more.
And you never know what they’re up to, and they’re always scheming in the shadows, and it’s quite possible that whatever master plan they’re hatching just doesn’t make the slightest bit of sense at all.
But it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter how stupid the clown’s schemes are, or how sick of him everybody is.
He just. Won’t. Die.
THIS IS. HONESTLY? THE WORST SALES PITCH FOR A MENTOR. THAT I HAVE EVER READ.
Granted!
But come on. Just let it slide this one time? Please?
Just no more shooting. You can slap him around if you want. That’s fine. But shooting is off limits.
WHY.
Because you can’t kill him! He’s the most important character in…
IN WHAT.
Well, ok. Maybe not the MOST important.
But he’s still really important! “
007385 "You mother fucker.
HE LOOKED AT ME FUNNY.
Yeah.
Want to know why?
BECAUSE HE’S A FUCKING CLOWN.
DO NOT TYPE IN BIG LETTERS. IT CONFUSES ME.
Why do you have to be like this?
Why can’t you just be down with the clown?
I DON’T KNOW.
I LIKE SHOOTING HIM.
HE JUST HAS THIS. PERFECTLY SHOOTABLE TORSO.
HEY. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS HORRENDOUS MUSIC.
What. You don’t like it?
IT IS WITHOUT A DOUBT. CAUSING ME MORE PAIN. THAN WHATEVER THIS UNKILLABLE CLOWN IS FEELING RIGHT NOW.
Well, whenever you shoot the clown, I play the elevator music.
OH FUCK. NO!
That’s the deal.
Either shoot the clown and face the music, or put on your fucking big boy suspenders and stop trying to murder him. ”
007392 “WHAT IS THAT.
What does it look like?
It’s a magic crowbar.
WHY IS HE GIVING IT TO ME.
I’m not sure.
I THOUGHT YOU KNEW EVERYTHING.
I know a lot of things. But I don’t always understand his motivation for doing the stupid things he does.
WHY NOT.
I just don’t.
Like one time? He sold a girl some potions. I have no idea why he did that.
POTIONS?
Yes potions.
He also threw some corpses into a sprite to revive them, and fused their identities to create a disturbing freak of nature.
I’m still not really sure why he did that. Probably just to fuck with everybody.
WHAT CORPSES.
It doesn’t matter what corpses. Just some corpses, ok?
The point is, he probably didn’t even have any reason for doing it. He was just being weird and capricious.
But that doesn’t mean it didn’t end up serving an important purpose anyway.
After the fused corpse sprite exploded, both of their ghosts got fed up and decided to start working together.
And now they’re doing some important stuff in the afterlife. But I kind of doubt this clown had any idea that would happen.
Or maybe he did? Who really knows with clowns.
HOLY FUCK. WHO CARES ABOUT THIS.
WHAT ABOUT THE CROWBAR.
What about it?
YOU SAID IT WAS IMPORTANT.
It is important.
But I don’t know if HE knows that.
I BET THAT CROWBAR IS A USELESS PIECE OF GARBAGE. I WILL NOT ACCEPT IT.
Maybe he heard you bitching about the wireless mouse being welded to the counter, and he’s giving you something to pry it off with?
OH. RIGHT.
MAYBE THAT’S IT.
But that’s not why it’s important.
THEN WHY.
You know how at the start of an adventure, you find some seemingly trivial thing that turns out to be important later?
But at the time you have no idea why or how it’ll turn out to be important?
YEAH.
It’s like that.
THAT DOESN’T EXPLAIN ANYTHING.
It explains everything.
WHAT’S MAGIC ABOUT IT. WHAT DOES IT DO.
I’m not telling.
TELL ME WHAT I’M SUPPOSED TO DO WITH IT.
No.
YES.
Just take the damn crowbar.
OK. FINE.
I THINK I AM DEVELOPING A PREMONITION.
ABOUT WHY THIS IS IMPORTANT. AND WHAT I’M SUPPOSED TO DO WITH IT.
Really?
YES. IT’S GOING TO HAPPEN REALLY SOON!
I CAN FEEL IT.
Wait, what are you…”
007396 caliborn calls the crowbar a magic present
007401 “HE PUKED UP SOME KEYS.
That’s weird.
What kind of keys?
JUST SOME REGULAR LOOKING KEYS.
WITH SOME KIND OF CLOWNY KEY RING.
Hmm.
Do you think they might work on this tower?
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ASKING ME?
HOW COULD THIS BE SOMETHING YOU DON’T KNOW.
Don’t be that way. I’m just thinking out loud here.
SO YOU HAD NO IDEA THAT THIS WRETCHED FOOL SWALLOWED SOME KEYS.
INTENDING TO LATER REGURGITATE THEM IN FRONT OF ME. PROBABLY AS ANOTHER "PRESENT”.
He’s kind of like a loyal pet, isn’t he?
Dragging ridiculous stuff into the house as gifts for his master.
Barfing up disgusting things on the carpet and beaming with pride over his generous offering.
Isn’t that what you want from a devoted minion/mentor?
DID YOU. OR DID YOU NOT. KNOW HE HAD THESE KEYS.
Nope.
I’m just as surprised as you.
I DON’T BELIEVE YOU.
Hey, I told you.
I have no idea what that clown gets up to in his spare time.
I’m not even really sure how he got here, to be honest.
Maybe he stowed away in a shitty Liberty?
Or maybe he was just hiding in one of the ventshafts on your meteor when you entered? He had YEARS of practice to master that move, now that I think about it. “