It is possible to prevent the spread of HIV in your relationship?

plannedparenthood:

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Someone asked us:

Hi! I have a question 🙂 So I’m wanting to start having sex with my boyfriend and well how do I say this, he has HIV and I am wondering the safest way to prevent myself from contracting it or of its even possible to prevent it? Thanks!

It’s great that your boyfriend knows his status and that you’re both thinking about protection. It’s definitely possible to prevent the spread of HIV in a relationship — you two are just going to have to be cautious, that’s all.

Let’s start with the basics: use condoms and other barriers (like rubber gloves) to prevent exposure to the three fluids that can spread HIV during sex: blood, semen and vaginal secretions. (There is a fourth fluid that can transmit HIV – breast milk – but that’s for another post.) Making sure you ALWAYS use condoms and prevent exposure to his genital fluids and blood is going to be the biggest way to reduce your risk when you two become sexually active. 

Even though you know his HIV status, you should both get tested for other STDs before you start having sex — if either of you have any undiagnosed STDs, it can increase the risk of transmitting HIV. Plus your boyfriend’s HIV is gonna make him extra vulnerable to any infections you may have, so take care of both of y’all by getting tested before you start having sex. You should actually plan to go in for HIV testing at least once a year, but possibly more often (ask your doctor what’s best for your situation). 

When you go for testing, tell them about your boyfriend’s status and ask about Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP) and Post-Exposure Prophylaxis (PEP). PrEP is a daily pill for HIV-negative people that reduces their chances of catching HIV. PrEP should be taken as prescribed by your doctor, and used with other types of prevention like safer sex, in order to provide the best protection from HIV. PEP is a little different —it’s a month-long regimen of drugs given to people who have already been exposed to HIV.

And it’s important that your boyfriend is taking care of himself as well. Following his doctor’s orders, staying on top of his treatment, and keeping himself generally healthy will help you both.

If you’re careful, practice safer sex, and follow your doctor’s instructions, you can focus more on each other, and less on his HIV.

-Mylanie at Planned Parenthood