Caliborn’s weird homogay crush on Dirk. Is a thing.
And then he got to spend years, years with Dirk.
And part of Cal’s personality knew
EXACTLY
how to fuck with him.
I take back everything bad I’ve ever said about Bro. The fact that Bro didn’t outright molest/murder Dave is a FUCKING MIRACLE.
Magnets and rainbows all up ins.
The implications. I cannot deal with this. No wonder Bro wanted to train Dave so hard. No fucking wonder Bro was always drawing creepy-ass comics about “wanting to play a game.” No wonder when Davesprite prototyped him, all Calsprite did was laugh.
Caliborn was finally able to get Dirk to draw whatever he wanted for him. Whenever he wanted.
I am now and forever creeped out by the idea of Lil Cal compelling Bro to flash step him everywhere. Like Cal’s living some kind of fucked up half life through Bro/Dirk. His very favorite person and weirdo crush. The guy who he just happens to have a soul shard of sharing his creepy puppet body. *shudder*
Just look at their apartment and the things Dave goes out of his way to voice his desperate, brittle acceptance of. The puppets, creepy comics, and mind games scream Caliborn. The barrage of phallic imagery that was wildly inappropriate for a child is pretty Eq, not to mention the creeping miasma of sexuality that was just… urgh. Then add the sticky film of fear (chucklevoodoos) and anger/rage trickling from Gamzee. Finally, the way it all meshed perfectly together with Bro since AR would know exactly how to get in Bro’s head (BEING A SHARD OF HIS SOUL AND ALL) and you’ve got a perfect storm of the worst thing I’ve ever had the misfortune to think about. The training and the physical abuse ramped up to 11 and done with a totally unequal power dynamic (unlike the also uncool but not nearly as fucked up Dirk and Jake situation) also seems very AR/Caliborn-like. That’s not even to mention both Eq’s and AR’s thing for control, and the issues ALL FOUR (well, three and a half, haha) people in there have with the color red and fuck, Dave is amazingly lucky to have made it out of there alive.
And UGH. Caliborn’s thing for platonic affection, the normal kind
of affection you’d give a child so that they grew up healthy. No wonder
Bro has minimal contact with Dave, Lil Cal’s influence would get all
kinds of wires crossed. The only non-evil solution would be to forgo
physical affection all together.
Also, lets consider, Caliborn’s first and foremost talent has always been his dominating personality. I have no doubt he would have been the dominating presence in Lil’ Cal. With just a touch of Gamzee’s ability to get in people’s heads… I’m upset just thinking about it. After lord knows how long of being exposed to him it’s amazing that Bro wasn’t a shambling husk that existed to do Cal’s bidding. The biggest, strongest, prettiest (that crush is still a thing) puppet ever, just for Caliborn. Bro was kind of half way there, but he somehow managed to mostly protect Dave from it which… I’m crying. Maybe Caliborn didn’t want to influence Dave so much or maybe the shades helped. Maybe Bro had a kind of subconscious idea of what was happening to him, I don’t know.
But he wouldn’t really have any way to fight it, not with Gamzee’s powers and Caliborn’s force of personality. It’s so messed up and sad, and it explains SO MUCH. And the way everyone just… desperately didn’t notice Cal was KILL IT WITH FIRE levels of fucked up speaks to a touch of voidy don’t notice don’t look magic.
All this, oh my god, I just want to go on about what they said about how “Bro had a kind of subconscious idea of what was happening to him” because he did. I’m a strong believer in Bro knowing A LOT MORE than he should for who he is. He did so much in the game, so much to help Dave and his buddies. Maybe the game gave him a way to fight Caliborn/Cal, though he didn’t seem to lose Cal until he died, but he changed a lot in the game imo.
He started the scratch, he helped give Dave more time, he was able to navigate the gates, something even the kids struggled with, easily to get his rocket board back, and he was able to go fight Jack. Bro always knew what was happening, because Bro tried to keep one step ahead of everything. A lot went downhill for him, and all this makes sense for how completely different Dirk and Bro are, and this is so interesting, especially to someone like me who has studied Bro in detail, it all makes sense.
Bro is so fucked up, and the shit he did was bad, but without Cal’s influence things would have been so different and I feel for Dave right now.
#1 tactic emotional abusers will use to get you to comply to their wishes is threatening suicide or self harm, don’t fall for it
If you notice whenever you get real with a person who is treating you like shit, and they immediately shrivel up into this pathetic ball of self loathing so that somehow you’re the one comforting them, they are an emotional abuser.
I have someone staying in my hotel tonight that made me think that this would be worth sharing here.
If you are running away/trying to hide from someone that is frightening, abusing, harassing you, and you find yourself staying in a hotel to avoid being found, there’s an extra precaution you can take.
When you check in, ask the front desk clerk to put you as “Unlisted”. They’ll know what you’re talking about. What this means is that as far as anyone other than you and the front desk clerks are concerned, you’re not there. If someone tries to call for you and your room, “I’m sorry. I don’t have anyone registered under that name.” Same thing goes for it someone shows up at the desk. “Unlisted” means you’re untouchable.
Please, please, if you find yourself in trouble and seeking refuge in a hotel, do this. It’s really quick, easy, and painless for the front desk clerk to do, and they are not going to judge you for it.
Tip from a hotel receptionist: (I work for the Green and Blue ending in Express- hotels will vary but this is generally a Thing hotels do.)
If you tell the front desk you do not wish to be contacted, they can and will put a note to everyone else who works there that unless you SPECIFICALLY say that a certain person is allowed to call/come up to your room, they will not let ANYONE near your room- ID will be checked for that person for your safety. If someone asks for you by name that isn’t allowed to know you’re there, the staff will simply say “There is no one here by that name.” If they press, the staff will insist no one is there and they need to leave. Also, housekeeping will be informed of your desire to be left alone and will announce at the door that they are housekeeping, for your peace of mind.
A good tip is to have someone else drive you to the hotel if you’re able- that way your harasser cannot find your car and wait by it for you. Also, if you CAN, stay in a hotel where all the room are indoors- usually smaller indoor hotels do not let non-guests past the lobby, especially if they ask for someone/someone’s room number. Third floor helps, too- at my hotel, we usually put people who are hiding from abusers on the third floor at the end- since you can’t enter the side doors without a key and the elevator is in the middle of the hotel. Always check to see if the outside doors are key-access only, and make sure you know where the elevators are, and see if you can get a room closer to the more secure area!
Also, if you know their car, or the car of anyone they know and might use, tell the receptionist, especially if you think they may come looking for you. Tell the receptionist what it looks like. If you see it, or if they see it circling the hotel or in the parking areas, they can and will call the police if you need them to. I myself have called the police to chase off an abuser who wouldn’t stop circling the hotel.
Sadly, this is not an uncommon thing, and since I started working at a hotel, I’ve seen my hotel shelter no less than six people fleeing from abusers/stalkers etc, but everyone at the front desk was accommodating and protective- just let the staff know you’re at risk, and they’ll do everything they can to keep you safe.
a big age difference, ESPECIALLY if one person is under 18 and the other is an adult (power imbalance)
one person is an authority figure (boss, teacher, coach, youth group leader, professor, etc.)
Your partner does things that you’re afraid to tell your friends or family about because they “wouldn’t understand” that your partner’s “really/usually not that bad”.
Things are great except when they’re absolutely terrible, and you have to really focus on how great it is when they’re sweet, because in the meantime they’re hurting or scaring you and making you feel like crap.
Doesn’t respect it when you say “no” and tries to argue or force you to do or accept things you don’t want to do or accept. (even trivial things count)
Your partner goes through your phone, email, purse, or belongings without permission
Constantly putting you down or criticising you for everything
Deliberately embarrasses you in front of your family or friends
Extreme jealousy, possessiveness or insecurity
Explosive temper
Isolating you from family or friends
They act like literally everything that goes wrong in your relationship is your fault, even the bad things they do
Making false accusations, especially about lying or cheating on them
Mood swings/big changes in how they treat you
Pressuring or forcing you to have sex (if you don’t actually want to have sex but feel like you have to, that is RAPE.)
Blames you for the times they hurt you (I couldn’t help it, you shouldn’t have done x, it’s your fault)
Acts really sweet after a big fight and promises it will never happen again, but it does
Tries to control things that should be your choice, like what to eat or wear, who to hang out with or where to go
When you call them on bad behaviour or ask them not to do something, they get really angry and it turns into a big fight
They tell you that no one else could love you like they do or that you’d never find another relationship
Breaks things that belong to you, hurts animals, or punches the wall when angry
Hurts you when angry – grabbing you so hard it hurts, shoving, hitting, biting, slapping, kicking, punching, or slamming you against the wall.
Touching you sexually when you’re asleep, drunk, or passed out (this is sexual assault or rape, because you weren’t conscious enough to give consent)
Threatens to commit suicide, hurt themselves, or hurt someone else if you leave them
Makes vague or specific threats about doing something bad to you
Makes you feel worthless or like you don’t deserve to be loved
Tampers with contraception/birth control
Brings up your mental health every time there’s a disagreement
Brings up hurtful things others have done to you during fights, as a way of saying that you are the reason other people hurt you
Humiliates you or belittles you for being bad at sex or being a bad romantic partner
doesn’t seem to care whether or not you’re interested in their advances; they do what they want with you without checking to see if you’re interested
often refocuses the conversation to sex or your appearance, instead of engaging with you on nonsexual topics. (objectification)
Talks over you, ignores you, or acts dismissive of what you’re saying (lack of respect)
is in a relationship with someone else, and the other person isn’t aware of their relationship with you
Uses slurs, especially although not exclusively ones that are meant to describe YOUR race, gender, orientation, etc. (even jokingly)
If you’re meeting someone you met online, them not being comfortable with meeting in a public place with someone else knowing about it
Says you’re cute when you’re mad (ignoring your feelings and not listening to you)
gives you the silent treatment when they’re mad at you (different from needing space because they don’t talk to you about it, just start ignoring you and if you bring it up they might say they’re NOT ignoring you)
Is interested in you because of your race (check out FuckNoFetishization) or because you’re trans, fat, etc., instead of seeing those factors as just part of who you are and being attracted to you for a variety of reasons (fetishization, objectification)
Says you’re “rambling” when you talk about something important to you
Laughs at you when you’re hurt, sad, or afraid
Doesn’t share your core beliefs about what’s most important to you in life
You don’t really have much to talk about except sex or how much you like each other
Doesn’t respect your gender identity or sexuality (says you’re “not really” what you say your identity is or laughs at you for it)
Doesn’t want to meet other important people in your life or doesn’t want you to meet important people in their life
Doesn’t take your needs or desires into consideration when making decisions that affect you
Doesn’t abide by agreements that both of you made, like specific plans or agreements about monogamy
Sex-shames you, or anyone else
Tries to pressure you into doing things you aren’t comfortable with after you’ve said no (not just sexual stuff)
Is rude to service staff, children, or other people who can’t really do anything about it
is rude to strangers
Doesn’t seem to have time for the kind of relationship you’d like to have with them
Tries to make things serious too fast, too soon for your comfort zone
shout out 2 y’all with abusers who aren’t men, who aren’t the intimidating cruel stereotype that people expect 2 be the only kind of abuser possible. ur experiences r valid and what u experienced was 100% #abuse . u deserve resources and respect.
ffs ok this is obviously well-intention but this is INCREDIBLY BAD ADVICE
MANY women do NOT want the police involved when they’re being abused and for VERY GOOD REASONS such as
– legal problems; for example there’s a problem in Aus where Indigenous women have called the police in a DV emergency and been arrested THEMSELVES for having outstanding bench warrants (generally for minor stuff like missed court dates and traffic offences, stuff that white women are never arrested for btw)
– they’re sex workers and at a huge risk of violence and abuse by the state including loss of their children to the foster system or to their abusive partners
– they are undocumented
– they rely on their partner for housing and basic necessities and CANNOT SURVIVE of their abuser is arrested
– they are TERRIFIED of their abuser and they KNOW they will be blamed if the cops show up and are likely to be abused FAR WORSE after the cops leave
DO NOT DO THIS
If you think someone is being hurt, go see yourself, grab a friend and knock on the door or wait it out and try to speak to the victim when the abuser is not there
DO NOT SPRING THE POLICE ON PEOPLE WITH ZERO CONSIDERATION OF THEIR CIRCUMSTANCES fucking hell
