please consider: rihanna as crowley and lupita as aziraphale
this brought to you by the committee for the healthy perpetuation of good omens fancasts that don’t involve a) benedict cumberbatch and martin freeman, b) benedict cumberbatch and matt smith, c) martin freeman and matt smith, or d) all the above + arthur darvill
i want a good omens movie but it has to be perfect and it won’t be therefore i do not want a good omens movie
The Good Omens movie is announced.
Neil Gaiman publicly states his approval with every aspect of the movie, and stresses how true it is to the book, how thoroughly it does it justice.
So does Terry Pratchett.
It has an absolutely perfect cast.
The director is an even better choice.
All promotional material looks wonderful.
A release date is set.
The trailer is incredible.
The premiere is a very exclusive event.
All early reviews come in positive.
Fans wait patiently in giant lines for a chance to be the first into the theatre for the midnight screenings.
They file into their seats.
They wait through the previews.
“Now: Our Feature Presentation” scrolls across the screen.
The screen goes black.
The Best of Queen begins to play.
In its entirety.
Twice.
In glorious surround sound.
“Oh dear,” muttered Aziraphale, not swearing with the practiced ease of one who has spent six thousand years not swearing, and who wasn’t going to start now.
Good Omens, Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman (via rhaxta)
i want a good omens movie but it has to be perfect and it won’t be therefore i do not want a good omens movie
The Good Omens movie is announced.
Neil Gaiman publicly states his approval with every aspect of the movie, and stresses how true it is to the book, how thoroughly it does it justice.
So does Terry Pratchett.
It has an absolutely perfect cast.
The director is an even better choice.
All promotional material looks wonderful.
A release date is set.
The trailer is incredible.
The premiere is a very exclusive event.
All early reviews come in positive.
Fans wait patiently in giant lines for a chance to be the first into the theatre for the midnight screenings.
They file into their seats.
They wait through the previews.
“Now: Our Feature Presentation” scrolls across the screen.
The screen goes black.
The Best of Queen begins to play.
In its entirety.
Twice.
In glorious surround sound.
Crowley and Aziraphale’s New Year’s Resolutions
Crowley:
- Resolution #1: I must accept that Super-Gluing valuable coins to the sidewalk and then watching events from a nearby café is not proper demonic activity.
- Resolution #2: The same applies to rearranging the letters on wayside pulpits.
- Resolution #3: Try to come up with something as good as cell phone ringtones, following one last stab at convincing Downstairs that cell phone ringtones are right up there in the whole Human Misery stakes. And iPods. Has anybody Down There even said thank you for iPods? Or “Googling yourself?” Frankly, I deserve some kind of award for “Googling yourself.”
- Resolution #4: I must encourage greedy people to use the term, “Low-hanging fruit,” because that’s just like old times.
- Resolution #5: This year, I will get a desk near the window.
- Resolution #6: I will try to understand why Hell is a no-smoking area. I just think it’s ridiculous having to stand around outside the gates, that’s all.
- Resolution #7: On the orders of Head Office I will encourage the belief in Intelligent Design, because it upsets everyone.
- Resolution #8: Stop Googling myself.
Aziraphale:
- Resolution #1: Spread peace and love and glad tidings of great joy throughout the world. Also try to get out more.
- Resolution #2: I will be charitable to people who use the term “core values,” however difficult this may be.
- Resolution #3: Notwithstanding Resolution #2 (above), I will redouble my efforts to have the utterance of the phrase “core values” classified as a deadly sin. I believe Himself is with me on this one.
- Resolution #4: I will try to be nicer to the customers. They want to buy books; I want to sell them. It can’t be that hard. (Memo to self: Regular opening hours? Mark prices on books?)
- Resolution #5: I will try to be polite to Gabriel, no matter what the provocation.
- Resolution #6: Find out exactly what an “Internet” is.
- Resolution #7: Really must resume dancing lessons. Learn the “Galloping Major,” the “Gay Gordons,” the “Mashed Potatoes.” Possibly even the “Twist”?
- Resolution #8: Thwart Infernal Wiles (ongoing).
- Resolution #9: I will try to understand why Heaven is a non-smoking area.
- Resolution #10: On the orders of Head Office I will encourage the belief in Intelligent Design – despite the fact that the human airway crosses the digestive tract. Who thought that was intelligent?
- Resolution #11: Feed the ducks.
But wait wait wait.
In the book Good Omens, by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, the biblical story of the Garden of Eden is portrayed as an event that happened literally as told—with Eve, Adam, the Tree, and the Serpent all going according to script, while dinosaur bones are waved away as a “joke” that humans haven’t gotten around to understanding yet.
But, what if in the book the whole dinosaurs and evolution explanation for life on Earth is actually the truth, while it is the angels and demons who experienced early life as a parable—that is, what if it is *they* who are living in the comfort of a metaphor, while humans have figured out the truth because we are the species who ate from the Tree of Knowledge.
After all, the demon Crowley does mention that putting the Tree in the middle of the Garden, with a big “DO NOT TOUCH” sign on it was a bit of a “pantomime,” and he wondered what God was really up to. Aziraphale, the angel, brushes the question aside (hesitantly), describing God’s work as only “ineffable.” What if it was their perception of reality that was skewed—that theirs based on faith, while in fact it is God showing humans the blueprints of his Creation.
Well with 10 hours of the year left to go I feel safe in declaring this post to be the best Meta of 2013
Do you ever just cry because
