peter and remus bring soda cans onto the train in third year after realizing how Not Aware of muggle stuff sirius and james are and convince them to shake up their cans before opening them because “no no you have to otherwise the flavors don’t mix”
remus and peter bring those cheap ass finger traps in fourth year and james and sirius have to be sent to pomfrey to get them taken off
peter and remus pranking the fuck out of sirius and james with dumb muggle shit all the time forever
Finally some Marauders headcanons that don’t make me want to claw my eyes out.
I vividly remember the scene in like the second movie where the Weasleys were looking at their school supply list and Molly was like “I really don’t know how we’re going to afford it this year” after they had just risked life and limb to rescue Harry and Harry was sitting there eating their food like ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Harry ‘Dickhead’ Potter through a mouth full of Wizardburger Helper “idk…….that’s……wow that sucks i guess lol so i’m thinking about buying this solid gold cauldron what do yall think? a little over the top?”
“oh that’s wild lmao… hey check this out I’m gonna buy all the candy off the cart on the train”
“dude you guys haven’t been able to buy new robes in like 10 years….wow that sucks i guess kek but hey lets go get some butterbeer my treat but fuck you :)”
He was literally 12 years old at this point in time, as well as the fact that he always felt extremely bad about their situation and even tried to pay for things for Ron numerous times, however he knew that Ron was ashamed and prideful over his lack of money.
Not to mention he gave Ginny all of Lockharts Defence Against The Dark Arts books, and gave Fred and George his triwizard winnings in the fourth book.
And if you think, for even a second, that Molly or Arthur Weasley would have ever taken money from him then you don’t know that family at all.
Oh, and when he got all the candy on the train, he was extremely malnourished after being mistreated and abused from living with the dursleys, and made sure that he got enough for himself and Ron, whom he had literally only just met.
a literal child who, only hours prior, was in the process of being starved and abused by his relatives in a room with bars on the windows: *eats food*
y’all: look at this privileged rich boy
Gender roles in a nutshell: the Beauxbatons and Durmstrang entrances in The Goblet of Fire.
also, to my knowledge neither of those schools were sex-segregated in the books
That bothered me more than the Dumbledore yelling, actually.
Nicolas Flamel was an alum of Beauxbatons.
The first headteacher of Durmstrang was a witch.
Bam.
In the books, it even says that there were boys and girls from each school. Thanks Hollywood for making Durmstrang buff and all athletic men and Beauxbatons all feminine and dainty.
Just imagine what it would have meant for every kid watching, seeing girls walking beside the guys in Durmstrang being “manly” and boys walking with Beuxbaton being flirty and feminine.
It would have shown that girls and boys can be however they want.
It also suggested that the only way a female could have be selected to participate was if she was not up against any male competition. In the books Fleur is chosen as the best candidate for her school from a selection of female AND male students. And she was the best PERSON. Not the best GIRL.
all men are Russian and all Women are French.
Select your gender: ? Russian
? French
you know that harry potter quote about unicorn blood and like “you have slain something pure and defenseless to save yourself,” i have just a note about that, a small detail to consider is that, uh, they’re horses with spears on their heads. if you know anything about horses or spears…
#me designing the most pure and defenceless animal: #im just gonna strap a long knife to the second evilest domestic animal
Okay but why couldn’t they still have played Quidditch during Goblet of Fire?
I understand that the champions probably wouldn’t want to deal with that while also competing in the tournament but it’s not really fair to everyone else to just cancel Quidditch for the full year.
What about the 7th years who wanted one last shot at winning the Quidditch Cup?
What about the 2nd years who were excited because they could FINALLY try out for the team?
But more so the 7th years, I mean no one even told them “btw we probs aren’t gonna have Quidditch next year so make this year count” like that’s actually really shitty.
And I understand that they needed the Quidditch field for the third task but there’s only like 5 games a year, you could’ve done them a little earlier and still had time to use this thing you teach called magic to grow the damn maze!
OR EVEN BETTER, instead of having the House Quidditch tournament, have the schools play against each other. I mean 3of the 4 champions are kick ass Seekers so why not?
OR BETTER YET have each of the champions form a team using anyone they want
Harry just asks the Gryffindor team to play with him and they use Ron to replace Oliver like in OOTP and at first he’s really nervous but then he gets his nerves on track because there’s NO WAY he’s losing to Krum after he took Hermione to the Yule Ball.
Cedric decides to try to get the best he can from all of the Houses, though the majority of his team is still Hufflepuff because he knows how they play and likes how they work together. He does find a Beauxbatons boy that makes a great Chaser though.
Karkaroff insists that Viktor only use the boys from Durmstrang (because he’s probably a misogynistic little shit) and he doesn’t really care because he’s the best Seeker in the world. Even if he just lost the Quidditch World Cup to Ireland, it’s IMPOSSIBLE that he wouldn’t be able to catch the Snitch before the other team got too far ahead.
And then there’s Fleur, who has never played Quidditch before but suddenly there’s a 13 year old red-haired Hogwarts girl asking her if she can be on her team because “I’ve been practicing with my brothers’ brooms for years and I’m actually quite good but I won’t be able to make the Gryffindor team for a few years” and Fleur agrees as long as Ginny helps her find some other teammates and gives Fleur flying lessons. Ginny accepts the offer and, in Holyhead Harpies fashion, sets out to put together an all female team because females are very unrepresented on the other teams. Ginny and Fleur ask two Bulgarian girls to be a Beater and Chaser. One of Fleur’s Beauxbatons friends is the other Beater, and Ginny asks a fifth year from the Hufflepuff team (who Cedric didn’t choose) to be the third Chaser, as well as Cho to be their Seeker. She insists that Fleur be the Keeper so that she doesn’t have to worry as much about not being steady on a broom.
Instead of all of the teams playing each other, they do it tournament style. Harry and Cedric’s teams go first. Ron is a nervous new Keeper and let’s quite a few balls in before he makes his first save and suddenly he’s on a roll. Cedric’s team has gained a substantial lead by now, but Harry spots the Snitch and just barely grabs it before Cedric (Fred and George are pleased since they’re still not over the Hufflepuff victory the year before when Harry was attacked by the dementors).
Fleur and Viktor’s teams play next. The girls have 3 superb Chasers that are scoring constantly. Every time Viktor’s Chasers make it to Fleur’s end of the pitch, they get distracted by her flowing silver hair and tend to miss without her having to do too much (which is good cause even though she’s better she’s still not QUITE comfortable on a broom). Viktor frantically searches for the Snitch because if he can get it soon they’ll still be able to pull ahead but then the Beauxbatons Beater hits a Bludger right at him and in the moment it took him to dodge it, Cho had spotted the Snitch and already had her hand stretched out to grab it. Before he could even reach her elbow she had the tiny ball held tight in her fist.
The losers of the first round face off for 3rd and 4th place. Viktor, with a sore ego about getting beaten to the Snitch in the last game, catches it within 20 minutes. Cedric laughs the whole thing off and gives Viktor his congratulations, but he now has a harder drive to win the Triwizard Tournament.
Everyone is anxious for the Potter/Delacour game. Fleur knows that Angelina, Katie, and Alicia won’t be effected by her the way the Durmstrang boys were, so she trains even harder to keep up with the rest of her team. The game is underway and it’s neck and neck. Both teams have three excellent Chasers, causing the Quaffle to change sides constantly. Ron and Fleur are both highly nervous, but still manage to block most goals. Fred and George know that Ginny is the other team’s best Chaser, but can’t find it in themselves to try and knock their 13 year old sister off her broom. The Durmstrang Beater doesn’t have any such obligations, and aims a Bludger at Alicia as she’s speeding down the pitch towards Fleur. It hits her in the ribs and she is escorted down to Madame Pomfrey. Now that Fleur’s team has the upper hand, they start pulling ahead. Harry and Cho are playing rough searching for the Snitch, trying to psyche the other out by flying in their path. Harry notices Cho following him and decides to dive as though he’s seen the Snitch somewhere near the bottom of the field. He’s surprised when he doesn’t see her dive after him and looks up just in time to see her catch the Snitch 50 yards away. Everyone heads back towards the ground, the girls have a group hug because never in a million years did they think they were ACTUALLY going to win! Harry breaks through to shake Fleur’s hand and tells her “good game”. Fred and George are staring in astonishment at their little sister because “What the hell, Gin? Where did you learn to fly like that?” while Angelina is nearby cursing the fact that they can’t have 4 Chasers on the Gryffindor team.
In the end, Dumbledore allows the teams to throw a party in the Great Hall. Some Hufflepuffs make flower crowns for Fleur’s team to wear as the winners. A hush falls over the Hall when the doors open and McGonagall comes in. They expect her to yell at them for being too loud, but instead she walks over to Fleur and hands her the Quidditch Cup because she “won it fair and square” but explicitly states that if she does not return it to her by the end of the year “I will go to France and take it from you myself”. The Hall bursts into laughter and applause.
watching trump slowly figure out what the presidency actually entails is a lot like what i imagine gilderoy lockhart looked like when the hogwarts teachers called his bluff and sent him into the chamber of secrets
a while ago I saw a post that pointed out that Snape would have treated Harry differently if he had been a girl and looked like Lily and I’m so horrified at the truth in that statement that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it