penny-anna:

penny-anna:

penny-anna:

penny-anna:

penny-anna:

Consider: Hobbits unused to carrying swords, initially VERY unclear on when it’s appropriate to whip em out

Merry and Pippin have a disagreement over, idk, whether cake or pie is better and both draw their swords like ‘HAVE AT THEE’ 

meanwhile Aragorn in the background like, boys please, please boys those are sharp

Frodo: *napping*

Boromir: hey Frodo wake up we need to talk-

Sam: he’s having his nap sir

Boromir: Sam please this is important

Sam: *draws his fucking sword* HE’S HAVIN HIS NAP GO AWAY

Frodo is slightly more sensible & very polite

Frodo: *sees Aragorn with his sword drawn* oh is there trouble. should i get out my sword

Aragorn: …no that’s alright

Frodo: are you sure it’s no trouble

Aragorn: Frodo if i want you to draw your sword I’ll. I’ll say so alright

Frodo: ah, alright 🙂 just say the word

Boromir: *grabs Sam’s sword* ok I’m confiscating this till you learn how to use it appropriately

Sam: *does not let go*

Boromir: *pulls harder*

Sam: *still does not let go*

Boromir: *slowly dragging Sam across the ground* HOW ARE YOU SO STRONG

Frodo: *waking up* WHAT… is going on

Boromir: *holding sword like 6 feet up in the air w Sam dangling off it* um

Sam: I’m handling it Mr Frodo go back to sleep

penny-anna:

mirkwoodest:

Here’s a little tolkien hot take: since the lord of the rings is a “translation” from the “original” westron we don’t have to take any dialog for granted. maybe every time merry calls someone “fellow” a closer translation would be “dude.” Maybe when Gimli says “It has an unwholesome look” it would be more accurate to say “this looks sketchy af.” I don’t know, you don’t know, no one knows. @penny-anna @cowboylegolas

Lord of the Rings but Merry & Pippin talk like Bill & Ted

linguisticparadox:

audreycritter:

whetstonefires:

whetstonefires:

tiny-smol-beastie:

reformedkingsmanagent:

wizard-guff:

storywonker:

penny-anna:

penny-anna:

penny-anna:

Legolas pretty quickly gets in the habit of venting about his travelling companions in Elvish, so long as Gandalf & Aragorn aren’t in earshot they’ll never know right?

Then about a week into their journey like

Legolas: *in Elvish, for approximately the 20th time* ugh fucking hobbits, so annoying

Frodo: *also in Elvish, deadpan* yeah we’re the worst

Legolas:

~*~earlier~*~

Legolas: ugh fucking hobbits

Merry: Frodo what’d he say

Frodo: I’m not sure he speaks a weird dialect but I think he’s insulting us. I should tell him I can understand Elvish

Merry: I mean you could do that but consider

Merry: you can only tell him ONCE

Frodo: Merry. You’re absolutely right. I’ll wait.

#legolas’ hick accent vs #frodo’s ‘i learned it out of a book’ accent #FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Legolas: umm well your accent is horrible

Aragorn: *hollering from a distance* HIS ACCENT IS BETTER THAN YOURS LEGOLAS YOU SILVAN HICK

Frodo: 🙂

Frodo: Hello. My name is Frodo. I am a Hobbit. How are you?

Legolas: y’alld’ve’ff’ve

Frodo, crying: please I can’t understand what you’r saying

Ok, but Frodo didn’t just learn out of a book. He learned like… Chaucerian Elvish. So actually:

Frodo: Good morrow to thee, frend. I hope we twain shalle bee moste excellente companions.

Legolas: Wots that mate? ‘Ere, you avin’ a giggle? Fookin’ ‘obbits, I sware.

Aragorn: *laughing too hard to walk*

@ghostriderofthearagon

dYinGggGggg…

i mean, honestly it’s amazing the Elves had as many languages and dialects as they did, considering Galadriel (for example) is over seven thousand years old.

english would probably have changed less since Chaucer’s time, if a lot of our cultural leaders from the thirteenth century were still alive and running things.

they’ve had like. seven generations since the sun happened, max.

frodo’s books are old to him, but outside any very old poetry copied down exactly, the dialect represented in them isn’t likely to be older than the Second Age, wherein Aragorn’s foster-father Elrond started out as a very young adult and grew into himself, and Legolas’ father was born.

so like, three to six thousand years old, maybe, which is probably a drop in the bucket of Elvish history judging by all the ethnic differentiation that had time to develop before Ungoliant came along, even if we can’t really tell because there weren’t years to count, before the Trees were destroyed.

plus a lot of Bilbo’s materials were probably directly from Elrond, whose library dates largely from the Third Age, probably, because he didn’t establish Imladris until after the Last Alliance. and Elrond isn’t the type to intentionally help Bilbo learn the wrong dialect and sound sillier than can be helped, even if everyone was humoring him more than a little.

so Frodo might sound hilariously formal for conversational use (though considering how most Elves use Westron he’s probably safe there) and kind of old-fashioned, but he’s not in any danger of being incomprehensible, because elves live on such a ridiculous timescale.

to over-analyse this awesome and hilarious post even more, legolas’ grandfather
was from linguistically stubborn Doriath and their family is actually from a
somewhat different, higher-status ethnic background than their subjects.

so depending on how much of a role Thranduil took in his
upbringing (and Oropher in his), Legolas may have some weird stilted old-fashioned speaking tics in his
Sindarin that reflect a more purely Doriathrin dialect rather than the Doriathrin-influenced Western Sindarin that became the most widely spoken Sindarin long before he was born, or he might have a School Voice
from having been taught how to Speak Proper and then lapse into really
obscure colloquial Avari dialect when he’s being casual. or both!

considering legolas’ moderately complicated political position, i expect he can code-switch.

…it’s
also fairly likely considering the linguistic politics involved that Legolas is reasonably articulate in Sindarin, though
with some level of accent, but knows approximately zero Quenya outside of loanwords into Sindarin, and even those he mostly didn’t learn as a kid.

which would be extra hilarious when he and gimli fetch up in Valinor in his little homemade skiff, if the first elves he meets have never been to Middle Earth and they’re just standing there on the beach reduced to miming about what is the short beard person, and who are you, and why.

this is elvish dialects and tolkien, okay. there’s a lot of canon material! he actually initially developed the history of middle-earth specifically to ground the linguistic development of the various Elvish languages!

Legolas: Alas, verily would I have dispatched thine enemy posthaste, but y’all’d’ve pitched a feckin’ fit.

Aragorn: *eyelid twitching*

Frodo: *frantically scribbling* Hang on which language are you even speaking right now

Pippin, confused: Is he not speaking Elvish?

Frodo, sarcastically: I dunno, are you speaking Hobbit?

Boromir, who has been lowkey pissed-off at the Hobbits’ weird dialect this whole time: That’s what it sounds like to me.

Merry, who actually knows some shit about Hobbit background: We are actually speaking multiple variants of the Shire dialect of Westron, you ignorant fuck.

Sam, a mere working-class country boy: Honestly y’all could be talkin Dwarvish half the time for all I know.

gayisgoth:

gayisgoth:

Legolas And Gimli are bitch/femme solidarity

This was a typo but honestly? Gimli is actually femme by dwarven standards, and Legolas Is a bitch by all standards.

penny-anna:

penny-anna:

Legolas pretty quickly gets in the habit of venting about his travelling companions in Elvish, so long as Gandalf & Aragorn aren’t in earshot they’ll never know right?

Then about a week into their journey like

Legolas: *in Elvish, for approximately the 20th time* ugh fucking hobbits, so annoying

Frodo: *also in Elvish, deadpan* yeah we’re the worst

Legolas:

~*~earlier~*~

Legolas: ugh fucking hobbits

Merry: Frodo what’d he say

Frodo: I’m not sure he speaks a weird dialect but I think he’s insulting us. I should tell him I can understand Elvish

Merry: I mean you could do that but consider

Merry: you can only tell him ONCE

Frodo: Merry. You’re absolutely right. I’ll wait.

gaycaspian:

gaycaspian:

the lord of the rings gets a lot funnier when you realise that merry and pippin were stoned out of their minds a good half of the time

imagine you and your best friend both have the munchies so you decide to
raid the local farmer’s field when you literally run into your two of
your smoking buddies from the shire and they tell you they’re hiking to
bree to meet gandalf, who you know has some top quality hash stashed on
his person at all times, so you agree to go with them and somehow end up
on a thousand-mile hike to destroy a piece of evil jewellery in a
volcano. congratulations. you’re merry and pippin now.

penny-anna:

penny-anna:

penny-anna:

The Hobbits try shoes

Sam: *walking about like a cat in booties* oh no… Oh no…

Frodo: *stands up* *immediately falls down*

Merry: you just spend all your time with your feet in… jail? In foot jail?? This is the worst

Pippin: *stomping about* haha Merry look, I’m a human! Get out of my way! I’m in a hurry! Where’s my horse? My name’s Boromir- *trips over laces and goes down hard* ow

Pippin: Merry help I’m stuck Merry *wrenching at shoes* STOP LAUGHING i’M A TOOK WE HAVE WIDE FEET

Merry: why are there so many laces this is so over-complicated

Frodo: *frantically kicking off shoes* nope nope nope nope nope

Gimli: Sam just walk normally

Sam: I don’t know where my feet are!

Gimli: they’re at the ends of your legs lad!

Sam: Mister Frodo help

& while all this is happening literally every other member of the Fellowship losing their gotdamn shit at the sight of a bunch of grown men (+Pippin) unable to figure out how shoes work

Frodo: alright I’m going to try again *stands up* *WHAM* oww

Aragorn: *sobering up* Okay Frodo seriously take those off before you really hurt yourself

~later~

Pippin: I suddenly have a new respect for all you shoe-wearing folks

Boromir: Pippin no offence but that is literally one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard anyone say