GUYS okay so my friend Jenna has been refusing to read homestuck for MONTHS and now she’s finally promised to read one page for every note this gets. PLEASE HELP I NEED HER TO LEARN TO GIVE THINGS A CHANCCEE 3:
Now That’s What I Call Privilege! featuring top 40 hits such as:
- Not All Men Are Bad
- Why Can’t White People Use the N-Word Too?
- Your Pronouns are too Hard to Remember so I’m Just Going to Call You “She” Instead
- Why Don’t We Have a Straight Pride Parade?
- You Shouldn’t Dress “Slutty” if you Don’t Want Men to Hit on You
- Calling Me “Cis” is Offensive to Me as a Cis Person (I Don’t Know What “Cisgender” Even Means)
- But Who Will Think of the Men
AND MANY MORE!!!!!
NOW INCLUDING
- What about the white people?
- Why should we be forced to be inclusive?
- My movement isn’t bigoted!
- What’s wrong with white cis men being the face of mental illness?
AND DON’T FORGET THE CLASSICS SUCH AS
- But we’re not ALL like that!
- I’m not supporting you anymore because you’re so mean to me.
AND YOUR ALL-TIME FAVOURITES,
- The Ballad of the Friendzone
- Being An Ally Practically Makes Me Queer
- I Don’t See Colour (And Neither Should You)
- Why must you label me (I’m post-sexuality) ?
- We All Live In A Post-Racial Submarine
AND OUR CHART TOPPING TRACKS,
- I’m a Nice Guy (It’s why You Should Date Me)
- Be Nicer To Me (Tone Policing is Fake)
- Appropriation Appreciation
- Radical Feminism (Not exclusive to anyone)
- I have a Black Friend
- Oppression Olympics
BONUS TRACK!
- It’s Really All Your Fault!
FEATURING THE SMASH HITS,
- Why Can’t You Take a Joke?
- Calling Me Racist is Racism
- I Don’t Hate Jews (But Zionists Control Everything)
- Here’s a List of Bigger Problems You Should Focus On Instead
- It’s Just the Internet
- Martin Luther King Would Hate You (But I’ve Never Read His Speeches)
- Stop Hating on Hitler (Genocidal Tyrants Have Feelings Too)
- Hollywood Should Cast Based on Talent, Not Race (But Why the Fuck Is That Character Black?)
- Why Are You Blaming Me for What My Ancestors Did?
- I Don’t Think I’m X-ist, Therefore I Am Not (Cogito Ergo Suck)
SECRET TRACKS:
- Everyone Deserves Religious Freedom (Except the Muslims)
- Special Snowflake Waltz
IF YOU CALL RIGHT NOW YOU’LL RECEIVE ALL OF THIS PLUS AN EXTRA CD WITH CLASSIC TRACKS SUCH AS:
- You’re Just As Bad As They Are (For Pointing Out What They’re Doing And Why It’s Racist)
- I Thought Liberals Were Supposed to Be Tolerant (Of Racists Like Me)
- A Black Person Was Once Mean To Me
- Jokes Can’t Be Racist
- I’m Just Honoring Your Culture
- A Woman Boss Was Mean To Me
- There Are Just Biological Differences Between (my group) And (group I hate), So My Actions Are Justified
seriously let me tell you something about teenagers (particularly teenage girls)
there is a fucking television program entitled “i hate my teenage daughter”
and you fucking sit there and judge these young people going through hormonal and social and mental hell
while you make tv shows and parenting blogs about how fucking awful they are?
do you know what teenage girls REALLY are?
they’re fucking WORLDS of potential bursting out at the seams
in all their taylor swift worshipping, converse wearing, dollar store lip gloss glory
they are our fucking precious future and they barely even get a voice
because… they listen to pop music and read for fun and laugh loudly all the time in public, how very dare they
so fucking excuse me if i think it’s counter-productive to shame people for liking one direction or gossip girl or whatever the fuck
they are teetering on the precipice of adulthood and they experience an epiphany every minute
teenage girls are allowed to like things
they are allowed to figure their shit out and make mistakes and shame on you and all of us for forgetting that they could teach us a thing or two about enthusiasm and horror and disgust and delight
“In English,” Professor Austin said, “a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn’t a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative.”
A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”
Sex-negative messages don’t keep people from having sex. They keep people from having good sex. They keep people from having pride in their sexuality, from sexual self-awareness. They keep people from asking questions about sex, and communicating with their partners. They discourage experimentation. They blur the lines between consensual sex and rape by framing all sex as an undifferentiated mass of “bad.”