It’s not about sex—they have porn, they have as much fucking porn as they could possibly ask for
they have billboards and ads and primetime tv shows and hollywood movies and websites free videos magazines they have porn channels porn movies with sexy images of women
they have girls on websites who are paid to webcam with them
there are girls who post sexy pics of themselves online for them
none of this is enough, none of this is, at the bottom of it all, what they want
creepshots specifically says this isn’t enough—they don’t want pics of girls knowingly posing (i.e. giving consent)
they want to violate, they want to rape, they want to own every woman walking down the fucking street
they want your teenage daughter, they want your mom, they want you
when you don’t know it, when you can’t say no, when you’re on the bus, when you’re walking down the street, when you’re at the beach
they get off on your violation, they want more proof that women exist for them and them alone
it’s sexy because it’s embarrassing, humiliating; they say it themselves
this is rape culture in its purest form
because women saying yes on screen, women saying yes to their faces, saying yes on their computers, on their phones is not what they want
that’s not “hot” enough
what’s hot is violating your consent, what’s hot is demeaning you, what’s hot is owning a piece of you against your will
and they won’t stop until we are all pornography
I’ve encountered people constantly assuming sex is good and that having sex is just something you do in healthy relationships. This creates a situation where, hating sex is a character flaw caused by those terrible sex-negative tropes society presses on you, and obviously only Bad People don’t consent to sex.
That’s rape culture. This is what environments that assume sex is unambiguously a good thing do. Saying, “It’s consensual sex that’s good” doesn’t actually fix the problem. It just creates a situation where you must be consenting to sex, because if you aren’t, you’re not having enough sex and then you’re “sex-negative”.
See, it only fixes a problem where you’re like, “Well I don’t really want to do this right now”. It does not do anything at all to help people who find sex painful. It does nothing at all to help a person who doesn’t want sex, but thinks they do because it’s been so heavily normativized they have to have sex, and have to have it in this specific way. All the, “But make sure it’s consensual!” thing does is tells the person, “Well maybe if you don’t want sex this time it’s okay, but remember you still must be having it some of the time!”
See, to actually fight rape culture you need to say “Sex is always optional. You are never obligated to have sex.” You must always be concerned with consent, and that means you must accept that the answer may very well always be no, despite the fact there’s this belief sex is the greatest thing ever.
And if someone never wants sex, then sex can’t really be a good thing to them, because it’s always unwanted.
Sex Positivity is Rape Culture in Disguise (via youlittlearsonist)
Really like this. We need to find ways of transforming real sex positivity to promote choice in sex, not uncritically promote sex itself.
(via swankivy)
