Cannot recommend WDHDT highly enough. I’ve found it helpful not just for romantic relationships, but also for growing up w a “unexplainable/uncontrollable” dad.
IT HAS ALSO BEEN REALLY HELPFUL FOR UNDERSTANDING ONLINE MOB HARASSMENT.
So if you’ve ever been bombarded w threats to be raped/killed, (so…if you’re a minority and you’ve been on the Internet for a while), this book might be useful for getting clarity around the whole entitled, abusive mindset that drives certain kinds of people to behave that way. And by “getting clarity”, I mean (for me) being able to go “oh, that’s what’s happening” and not really feel scared anymore. Or angry, or drawn out into it, or anything.
And if you’re still standing around going “but how does something like GamerGate happen?” or “but why do men hit their wives?” or whatever – please read that book and learn something.
^^^^ truth WDHDT is fantastic at cutting down MRA bullshit and calling it what it really is
Please consider reading these. WDHDT is really, really helpful. And I know some of you are struggling with abusive relationships, friendships, families, etc. You’re not alone. There is help.
There’s also a really good group on Facebook called “Narcissistic Parent Answers” that I would recommend. They makes posts about how to stay safe, and also explain narcissistic behaviors (which has made me go “holy shit that’s what that was” multiple times) and helps reassure the victim that it isn’t their fault.
I don’t normally post stuff like this on this account, but Toxic Parents changed my life. It helped me sort out so much and find the courage to cut off my abusive parent entirely and set very firm boundaries with other toxic family members. As someone who was abused from childhood physically/emotionally/verbally, I have a lot of difficulty knowing what healthy boundaries are and setting them without feeling guilty or wrong about doing so. This book helped a lot. I read it 3 times.
*careful reading it, though; make sure you have a support system in place and people to talk to. It’s an easy read technically, but emotionally it’s intense. A close friend read through it and got triggered/suicidal. Take your time with it, talk it out, stay safe*
(Fellow art peeps, if you’ve been wondering where I’ve been, dealing with these issues and getting PTSD treatment basically defines the last year for me. With any luck I’ll be able to get back to game dev & art, but for now, this is much more important).
